If you are moving out of your hometown and are wondering how to make friends in a new city, you’ve found the article that’s perfect for you. Making friends in a new city can be difficult, but doing so will be very satisfying. That’s what you’ll learn how to do today.
Moving out of your own city and heading to live in another is a very tough situation for the uninitiated and initiated alike. Living abroad can bring so many difficult things in your life, and most people don’t even know this before they decide to live in a different city/country. Making new friends is just one of the many hurdles, but it’s a hurdle that you should overcome nonetheless.
We all know that making friends can do you good in life. It can help you in more ways than you realize. Your career will run more smoothly because you’ll have friends to confide in, friends who will give you advice, connections, and drive. Your social life will dramatically improve. You’ll have people who will be there for you on both good and bad times.
With all these in mind, let’s learn how to make friends in a new city.
1. Research Hang Out Places Within The City
Know which places are filled with sociable people in your new city. You need to know which clubs are the most popular, what kinds of people visit the different kinds of bars, the number of parks in the area, so on and so forth.
Think of this as a way of “scanning the area”. You, as a newcomer, are scoping your new territory. You scout for places that are hotspots for socializing. Before you get to the actual socializing, visit the places first and get a feel of the area.
It can be even better if you find out certain things about the different locations. Not only will it help you feel more comfortable with the place as a whole, but it will also give you a lot of talking points once you actually start socializing.
2. Do The Things You Love And Find People Who Do The Same
Moving to a different city doesn’t mean leaving everything behind. The things you love are still the same things you love regardless of where you are. When you move to a different city, continue doing those things. Going to the gym, running, reading, hiking, playing music, whatever it may be, do them all the same.
One thing that’s going to be different, however, is the people you’re going to be doing it with. If you exercise regularly, there will be different people at the gym. If you love to trek, you’ll be walking trails with different kinds of people.
Keep doing the things you love, but do them with different people this time. Find people in your city who share your interests and spend time with them. Build a friendship with them. Some of the best friendships are the ones built on a common interest. This is one of the best ways to really find and make friends in a new city.
3. Use Apps/Websites Dedicated To Making Friends
There are a lot of apps and websites out there that were made for the sole purpose of helping people find other people in different areas. Apps/Websites that will point you towards the direction of other people or locations that are perfect for socializing.
Websites like Meetup, Eventbrite, or even Facebook are perfect for this, but if you know of anything else, then just as well. You will find places to hang out, the kinds of people that hang out there, among other things. You will also be able to find specific events that are for either socializing or for a niche set of people.
For example, let’s say you’re a writer. You may be able to find specific events or gatherings for writers in your city. That will be a perfect way to meet people who have the same interests and/or profession as you.
You will also get the idea of just how big or little your community is by doing something like this, which can help you in managing your expectations when it comes to socializing. You will not be overwhelmed, nor underwhelmed if you know exactly what to expect.
4. Know A Lot About The City
It will serve you well if you study quite a bit about your new city before you even move in. You don’t have to learn about it in its entirety, you just have to know enough. Know who runs the town, the governance, the culture of the people, what the cuisines are, the sports teams, so on and so forth.
Socializing with locals will become a little easier if you know about their hometown. They will either be impressed or appreciate the fact that you took your time to get to know the area. Either way, it’s good public relations on your end.
You can either surf the web on facts about the city or just flat out ask the locals in your area. They will be more than happy to oblige you. Be sure you’re knowledgeable enough before you do any actual socializing. Ask around for interesting facts about the city, what the most popular places are, what the best food is, where to get them.
Once you finally get to socializing, just say enough tidbits about the city you’re in. Not too much that it comes off as arrogant, and not so little that it comes off as pretentious. Just enough.
If someone asks you about how you just moved in, you can respond with something like “Yeah, I’m new in town. I love how ABC here is very XYZ. It’s interesting”, or something along the lines of that.
5. Be Friendly To Everyone You Meet/Encounter
Whether you’re socializing in a bar, or just out and about walking on the streets, be friendly to everyone you meet or encounter. Say hello, nod, smile, be courteous, things like that.
If you are out on the streets or just in your apartment building and you’re meaning to ask about your new community, even if you aren’t looking to make friends just yet, be friendly anyway. Be friendly to the point that it becomes second nature to you. It will serve you well once you finally go out with socializing in mind.
You can also make a lot of friends faster and easier if you’re friendly in nature. People will want to be near you more, they will actually want to get to know you, and your presence will be warm for others.
Others will actually feel more inclined to approach YOU instead of you approaching them if you’re known to be a friendly person.
6. Don’t Settle For Bars and Pubs When Making Friends
There are so many more places that you can visit if you want to make friends in a new city. Aside from bars, pubs, and clubs, you can also opt for parks, museums, cafes, or the beach.
It’s true! While bars are definitely high up on the list of places where you can make friends, you need to know that it isn’t the only option. Parks are great places to meet people on a warm, sunny day. Museums are perfect for meeting people who share the same interests with you (if you’re into history, art, or anything that can be highlighted at a museum) and great places to have intellectual conversations.
Go anywhere you can if you really want to broaden your horizons. Don’t just settle for one type of establishment. Have fun with it. Go to places just for the sake of meeting people. You’ll find just how interesting it is to build a friendship in the most interesting places.
Once again, you can go ahead and use online apps or websites for this if you want to be more prepared. Although that is the better option, you can also just wing it and go around wherever you can.
Just be sure to visit places that are secured and safe. You don’t want to go across a dangerous neighborhood especially if you’re just new in town.
7. If You Want To Make Friends In A New City, Learn How To Make Friends In General
Making friends in a new city is challenging and all, but at the core of it all, it’s just about making friends. No matter where you go, this will always be the number one obstacle that you need to overcome.
In light of that, you need to focus on how exactly you can effectively make friends. This will help you in your journey to make new friends in a whole new city.
Being open-minded is one of the best things that you can do if you are to build friendships anywhere in the world. You have to consider the fact that not everyone will have the same way of thinking or beliefs as you, and you have to acknowledge that it’s okay to accept that.
People will feel more comfortable being around you if you’re generally open-minded. Open-minded people tend to be more welcoming of any discussion and are able to contribute in a very healthy manner. You need to become this kind of person if you want others to be happy when speaking to you.
Just realize that not everything has to be set in stone. And just because someone else’s opinion differs from yours, it doesn’t mean they are less of a person than you are. Sometimes, a difference in opinion is just that. A difference in opinion.
Always keep an open mind when engaging in conversations with other people and they will do you the same courtesy. Most importantly, you will appear more friendly and are able to make friends better and easier.
Don’t be too guarded if you want to make friends. Maintain a level of vulnerability. Show your humanity and others will appreciate you as a person and will feel more comfortable approaching you.
Share a few stories about yourself to others. Show them who you are as a person. Treat yourself like a book that is opening for others to read. Tell them your interests, your dreams, your aspirations, what you fear and what you love.
You can also choose to share a few stories that you consider “secrets” or even ones that you deem embarrassing. Add lightness to your situation by sharing an embarrassing, yet funny story. Don’t worry. People won’t judge you for this. In fact, they’ll appreciate the fact that you opened up to them. They may even start sharing a story or two of their own, thus creating a discussion that you’ll have started.
Work on your story-telling abilities
You need to be able to catch your listener’s attention when you are speaking to them. Being a good storyteller is just as important as having great stories to tell. If you have amazing stories but you can’t tell them well, then what’s the point, right?
The quality of your voice is also very important for this factor. Speak from your stomach, not your throat. Do proper breathing techniques. Make sure your voice is loud, clear, and soothing to listen to. This may all seem irrelevant, but they’re not. People like to hear those who have resounding voices.
Before you go to social gatherings to meet friends, practice your stories first. It’s important that you practice not to memorize your stories but to familiarize yourself with them. You’ll avoid fumbling through a story or missing an important aspect if you know your stories like the back of your hand.
Make as many conversations as you can (at the start)
Make sure you have conversations as much as you can whenever you’re out to socialize, especially early on in your days as the guy who’s new in town. You’ll be able to have conversations with a lesser number of people later on, but for now, engage in as many conversations as you can.
Say you’re at a party with a huge amount of attendees. You’re bound to stumble upon multiple people who have many in common with you. Talk to those people. Get to know them deeply. At the end of the night, make sure you’ll have spoken to many people. If you’ve spoken with at least 20 people, if 5 of those end up becoming a close friend, it’s a win for you already.
Doing this will also make you appear more friendly and approachable. As the guy who goes up to many and sparks conversations with a lot of people, you’re automatically seen as someone who’s sociable, which is the end goal of all of this.
Do your best to contribute to discussions
Whenever you hear someone speak of something you know about, take that as an opportunity to socialize. Add value to the discussion by speaking your mind. Most importantly, if someone asks you anything specific, give an answer. If you don’t know the answer, just say something like “Oh, I’m sorry I’d love to expand on that but I’m afraid I don’t know much about it”.
If you do know something, speak. Your contribution will be taken with gratitude rather than with annoyance. People will see you as someone who’s willing to join discussions, and thus allowing you to be a part of more discussions in the future. This is a very good way of making friends especially if you’re moving to a new city.
Ask probing questions
Asking questions is just as important as answering them when it comes to making friends. When you’re in a conversation with someone, be sure you listen intently. If they say something that can be expanded upon, allow them to finish their thought, and then ask them a question.
Asking questions is a way of showing others that you’re interested in who they are as a person. Once they realize this, they’ll subconsciously feel the need or urge to become your friend. Your bond will strengthen and you’ll become friends in no time.
For example: Someone says something like “The game last night was intense! I wish my team won, though”. You can then point out that the other person is a sports fan. You can then further that discussion and show interest by asking something like, “Oh, so you’re a sports fan, huh? What do you think of this and that?”
This is also a very good way of getting to know them on a more personal level. By asking questions, you’ll know their stories. Their dreams and aspirations. What they’re like outside of that social gathering. You can make friends in a new city easily just by asking the right questions.
Be emotionally intelligent
Emotional intelligence is another important aspect you should practice when it comes to making friends. Emotional intelligence is your ability to empathize with another, and recognize the atmosphere of the whole room.
If you’re emotionally intelligent, you are able to figure out what the person you’re talking to is feeling and how they want to feel. You will be able to scan a room easily. You’ll know who came with who, who’s friends with whom, who’s dating whom, and so on and so forth.
Treat emotional intelligence as the sociable person’s superpower. It’s an amazing ability and if you have it, you can socialize easier when you’re in a new city, thus make friends easier.
8. Join A Club and/or Class
The best way to meet people who share your passion and/or interest is to simply join a club or a class. There are bound to be many in your area. Just go ahead and look it up on Meetup or Facebook.
You are not only giving yourself the opportunity to make new friends by joining a club or taking a class, but you are also giving yourself an opportunity to learn and master your craft. You will be learning and growing with other people.
The people in the club or class are very good potentials for a strong friendship. You meet in the club or class in order to learn and make friends, and in a few weeks you grow together intellectually and you’ll have truly bonded.
9. Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone
There are a lot of new opportunities in a new city. Some of them may be out of your comfort zone but don’t let that stop you. It shouldn’t stop you if you’re eager to make friends in a new city.
There are a lot of things other people do that may be out of your comfort zone. Don’t be afraid to take a dive into them as well. Don’t limit yourself to doing the things you’re already comfortable with. Get out of your comfort zone.
If you’ve never gone mountain climbing before and you meet an interesting group of people who does it regularly, join them on one of their next trips. If you don’t know how to swim, learn and head to pools and beaches. Socialize in places you never once thought you’d ever visit.
If there are certain crafts and skills you’ve been meaning to do or learn but have never gotten the time to do so, do them now. Do things that are out of your own bubble. Trust me, you’ll meet a lot of interesting people along the way.
10. Start Building Your Own Social Circle
Once you meet enough people, start thinking about building your own social circle. It’s good to have your own group of friends once you start living in a new city.
Do this slowly but surely. Go out to social events and meet people. Make sure you actively have conversations with as many people as you can and make sure you’re able to gather the contact information of those you’ve really hit off with.
Say, you managed to gather 10 to 15 contacts. In a few days, you need to contact those people and ask them out again. You can say something like “Hey, I’m meeting a couple of people from that party we were at this weekend. Wanna join us?” Even if just 4 or 5 people respond positively to that, that’s a win for you already.
You and the others will already have had something in common once you socialize again: you all were at that previous party. You can start talking about that party and why you were there, and then you, as the person who invited everybody, can then introduce everyone to each other.
Do this frequently and you’ll have your own core group of friends in your new city in no time.
11. Host Your Own Parties or Events
Don’t just wait for others to invite you. Host your own parties and events as well. You’ll be seen as someone who’s really keen to socialize if you do this, and the attendees will be very grateful to you.
One big advantage of hosting your own parties and events is you can pretty much socialize in your own turf. You can pick out the venue and be with people in a place you’re already comfortable in, thus making socializing so much better for you.
If you already have your own group of friends at this point, invite them first. Then later, encourage them to invite people they know. The more you host parties, the more you’ll be comfortable with many people. You’ll also be able to meet many people from your new city, thus giving you the chance to befriend them.
12. Have Fun With It
Most importantly, you need to have fun with this process. If you really want to make friends in a new city, you need to enjoy that notion. Once you socialize, have fun! Your opportunities are endless.
Treat every interaction like a blessing. This means you don’t disregard anyone in any social interaction and you don’t feel disdain whenever you’re out and about. Have fun! It’s a simple notion, but it’s something you need to remind yourself every once in a while.
Realize the reason for all of this. Why are you eager to make friends in a new city? What is your motivation?
After you start questioning that, you now need to acknowledge the positive aspects of having friends and how it can affect your life. If you want that in your life, then you SHOULD be eager to make friends. You SHOULD have fun in the process.
Treat every interaction like a blessing
You need to be really dedicated if you want to successfully have your own friends after moving into a new city. If you’re extra dedicated, you can even start making friends within days after moving in. All you have to do is follow all of these steps and you’ll be good to go in no time.
If you want to speed up your process in making friends in your new city, fully develop your social skills first by checking out the other articles here and watch the training videos that I had prepared for you. Making friends in a new city will come like a breeze to you after you study and research thoroughly here. This is a journey that I will help you complete.
Start Learning Right Now
You can start learning how to make friends by downloading your copy of my eBook here: Get The Friends You Want – Risk Free Trial.