Forming your group of friends is helpful, but you need to learn how to join a group of friends if you want to be more social. Forming a social circle and knowing how to join one are two different social skills that are equally important. You’ll learn how to join a group of friends in this article.
Most of the people you’ll meet will mostly be already a part of a friend group. You will rarely meet people who aren’t a part of their social group.
Considering this, you’ll have a lot of opportunities to meet other social groups and have the chance to join one as you keep on socializing. You must possess the proper social skills when this does happen. With that said, here are ten tips on how you can join a group of friends.
1. Learn To Socialize Within Big Groups Of People
It’s a social group. There’ll be at least three people there. You must be able to socialize within big groups, no matter the number.
As someone new to the group, there’s a high chance that you’ll be a center of attention. If you want to be accepted as a new member of that group, you need to be able to socialize properly despite their number.
Make conversation with as many of them if you can. The best way to be acknowledged by everyone is to make sure you add value to every interaction. This means whatever it is they’re talking about, make sure you add to the topic instead of just being a passive participant.
Make sure your body language and facial expressions are on point whenever you’re socializing in a big group. Just relax, enjoy, socialize, Be eager to become a part of the social group.
Take note whatever it is that brought the group together. A social group will most likely have a common ground or common interest that brought them all together. Assess and ask yourself if the common interest is something you’re or can be interested in as well. It will make socializing with every single one of them a whole lot easier.
2. Be With People Who Are More Experienced Than You
As you socialize frequently, you’re going to meet a lot of people who are far more experienced than you are. There will always be people like that and you’ll meet quite a few along the way. Don’t be afraid of this happening. You should embrace it.
Allow yourself to be surrounded by people who are more knowledgeable than you. Whether it be in their craft, career, or even in terms of socializing. If the people in a group have better social skills than you, treat it as an opportunity to learn.
Observe those who are more skilled and internalize what makes them better. Once you figure that out, do your best to apply that to yourself. Emulate those who are more skilled. Are they better conversationalists? Do they listen to people better? Are they able to scan a room? And then ask yourself, how? How are they doing those things?
Make sure you also don’t just stay in a corner to observe whenever you’re surrounded by people who are more skilled than you. Don’t be afraid to socialize with them. In an adult world, they won’t judge you for your lack of skill. They’ll appreciate you for your effort. That’s what matters here.
If you show intent to learn from them, befriend them, and be a part of their social circle, sometimes, that’s all it takes.
3. Stop Thinking Internally And Focus On Your Environment
Whenever you’re out socializing, you may start thinking to yourself, “I wonder if these people will like me”, “Do I belong here?”, or any thoughts that can lead you to be self-conscious.
While this is very normal, keeping this up will completely restrict you from socializing properly. It will not serve you better to keep on thinking about things like that. Thinking internally all the time when socializing will make you appear “distracted”. This gives others the impression that you’re not interested to be there at all. That’s not the kind of vibe you want to be giving out if you want to be a part of a different group of friends.
Instead, you wanna appear upbeat. You want to give out the impression that you are excited to be there. That you’re willing to get to know everyone. You want to let everyone know that you’re ready to socialize. That you want to be a part of their group of friends.
Focus on your environment instead of trapping yourself in your mind. Scan the room, read the atmosphere, get to know everyone. If you stop thinking inwards and start focusing outwards, your ability to socialize will become much smoother.
To help you get through this, just take socializing one step at a time. By this I mean you scan the room and approach one person first. Connect with that person. After that, repeat the same process and approach another. This will help you stop thinking internally and be more focused on the things that are happening around you.
4. Be Open To Friends Bringing Their Other Friends
The people you’ll meet have their friends even before you meet them. Considering this, whenever you make a new friend in public and you ask them out again a few days later, chances are, they’ll be bringing a friend or two along with them.
If you call someone you just met to ask them out again and they say, “yeah sure, can I bring a friend along?”, you can never say anything like “No, you can’t”. It’s off-putting and it’s an unspoken rule of socializing you just shouldn’t break. Just say “yeah, sure!”, and look forward to the interaction.
While this doesn’t happen every time, you need to be prepared for it whenever it does happen. You need to know that they’re not doing this because they want to be alone with you, they just have friends or partners that go with them most of the time, wherever they go.
As mentioned, you need to look forward to this instead of being afraid of it. This gives you a chance to be a part of a different social group. You’ll be introduced to new people and you’ll get the chance to befriend them as well.
Maybe you’ll meet 3 people out of a social group of 8. If you end up making a connection with those other people, you might get the chance to be introduced to the rest of the group. You’re already giving yourself a chance to join a different social group just by befriending a few of them first.
5. Search For Places Where People With Your Interests Hang Out
Look for communities in your area where people with your interest hang out frequently. For example, if you love music, look for a bar that has bands and artists performing. If you’re a painter, look for art exhibits. If you’re into basketball, well, you get the idea.
The idea is to surround yourself with people who you can relate to more. Studies have shown that we unconsciously desire and prefer being friends with people who are similar to us in many ways. Because of this, the conversations you’ll be having will be so much smoother if you have a common ground already. Even your psychology dictates that.
There’s a very high possibility that you’ll meet people who go to those places in groups. If you socialize with them and share with them your knowledge of your common interest, you might just become a new member of their group.
You can go online for this and look up communities and the places they usually visit that are in your area. There are many sites and apps for this, but Meetup is a very reliable one that you can use.
6. Be A Source Of Positivity
If you’re new to a group, they might expect you to bring something good to the table, aside from contributing to interactions, of course. Bringing positivity is a very good thing that you can bring to a group. Even if they’re already a generally positive group, a little bit more never hurts.
Everyone wants to be around someone they can feel at ease with. Someone who can make any situation lighter. Someone fun to be with. YOU need to be that someone. Be a source of positivity and any group will welcome you with open arms.
There are so many ways you can be a source of positivity to the people around you. Like these following options:
- Be a good listener. Whenever someone talks, be sure you give them your full, undivided attention. If they have a story to tell, good. You listen. If they have a problem and they’re confiding to you, that’s fine. Listen well so you can give good advice.
- Give good ideas. If there’s a discussion for anything and ideas are required, make sure you take the time to think of good ideas and share it whenever you think of one. For example, if someone asks of an amazing restaurant, don’t just blurt out the first one that comes to mind. Give thought to it and then speak your mind.
- Be funny. I know being funny is a natural thing for a lot of people, but it’s something you can practice as well. Know a few funny jokes, share your funny experiences, whatever you can do to make the people around you laugh without crossing any lines.
As long as you go out of your way to make everyone’s experience better whenever you’re around, that’s already you being a positive enforcement in a group. Make sure you do this and you keep this up.
7. Be Authentic
Nobody likes it when someone is putting on a fake personality. You don’t have to put on a fake mask to socialize. Be authentic in who you are and people will respect you.
Now, this doesn’t mean you can settle and not actively try to be a better person, that’s something you can do. If there are characteristics you feel like you can improve upon, do it. It becomes a part of you if you learn it. You aren’t faking if it becomes a part of you.
What this means is you don’t have to go around acting like somebody you’re not. Don’t say things you don’t mean. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. It essentially means you need to stay true to yourself, both in action and words.
You’ll later realize just how much people appreciate authenticity and honesty. Allow people to see you for you. Let your personality shine. Be free with being you and nobody else. Maybe there’s something about you others will find awesome and unique. The important thing is it’s you and you’re not faking anything. Do that and the people in social groups will see you as a valuable potential member.
8. Be Patient
One thing you need to realize when attempting to join a group of friends is that it doesn’t always happen as quickly as you want it to. It can take more than one gathering to be accepted in a group.
You need to know that this is fine. If you don’t get accepted immediately, it doesn’t mean they don’t like you. It can just mean they need more time to get to know you better.
You may need to hang out with some groups more than once for them to fully accept you. So whenever the opportunity comes up to see them again, you should go. Charm them, add value to interactions, so on and so forth. As long as you’re patient and dedicated, you’ll be accepted in that group in no time.
Never feel like you’re forcing yourself into a group that doesn’t want you. As long as you’re still given the chance to hang out with them, that’s never the case. Discouragement is your enemy when it comes to goals like this one.
9. Let The Group Know That You Enjoy Their Company
As mentioned earlier, you need to give out the impression that you’re having fun and you want to be there when you’re around other friend groups. You can do this through your mood, but it doesn’t hurt to say it every once in a while.
Other than that, there are many ways you can let others know that you’re enjoying their company. Your body language and your facial expressions are your best friends when it comes to this.
You need to stand with confidence or stand up properly when you’re around other people. Don’t slouch. Don’t cross your arms. Just relax.
Your facial expressions, especially when you’re talking with someone face-to-face, can say a lot too. Smile if you can help it. Nod a few times whenever you’re talking to someone and they say something interesting. Have your eyes focused on the person you’re talking to.
Essentially, you need to give out an “I’m very grateful to be here” kind of vibe. You also need to learn to genuinely feel grateful whenever you’re socializing with a friend group. You just need to realize that you have the chance to become a part of that group and be grateful for that.
10. Get To Know Everyone In The Group
The end goal here is to become accepted as a new member of an already established group of friends. For you to do that, you’re going to have to win over every single member of that group.
If you’ve been given the chance to meet a group of friends because you somehow met one of them and they brought you along, that’s good. For this tip, you’re going to need that person’s help. Just ask the person you already know a few things about each member and use that information to your advantage as you get to know every single one of them.
If not, then that’s fine. Just start with one person at a time. Speak to one, make sure you end up making a connection with that person, and then speak to another. Keep doing that until you’ve spoken and gotten to know everybody.
Make sure you just don’t talk and get to know the person, make sure you establish a connection with them. Probe them with questions. Ask them about themselves, what they like to do, interests and hobbies, things that will give you a picture of who they are as a person.
Eventually, you’ll be able to get to know all of them enough that you’ll become a member they’ll all cherish.
Joining a different group of friends isn’t easy. It can even be harder than just forming your group of friends. At least with forming your group of friends, you can begin from scratch. Joining an already established group can be tough because they all already know each other and you’re the new link.
It may be difficult, but it’s completely doable. As long as you take to heart everything you’ve learned here and apply them, you’ll be able to join any group of friends you want.
If you want to learn more about making friends and building up your social skills, download a copy of my eBook here: Get The Friends You Want. Give it a try and know even more things about being more social and making more friends.