When we were young, we were physically confined, and kind of forced to socialize. As adults, that’s no longer the case.
Furthermore, you can no longer make friends with anyone; you need to have at least something in common with to be able to relate. This is largely due to the fact that your personality got more complex than before.
But you probably think that the main reason why you struggle with keeping a social life is the lack of time; you’re too busy.
You’re Right, You’re Too Busy To Maintain a Social Life, But That’s a Problem
It’s true that as an adult, lack of time is usually what prevents you from finding and making new friends. But focusing your attention on trying to get more time, or managing your time better doesn’t get you anywhere.
You can’t motivate yourself out of this problem. You can’t “just get motivated” to get a social life – at least not for too long.
How Do You Make Friends As An Adult Then?
The solution is to approach making friends as a rhythm, not a one-time action. You have you work rhythm, all you have to add is another rhythm; your social rhythm.
The first thing to do is find half an hour to an hour in your schedule when you’re doing nothing anyway. Think Tuesday after work… what do you do? Spend time on Youtube? That’s fine, you can build a social life while watching YouTube videos.
You take that Weekly chunk of time, and spend it “pinging” people: contact those you want to go out with, follow up with those you just met, and suggest plans for later on in the week.
This can take maybe half an hour – but you do it every week, you don’t have to remember it, you can put as a weekly reminder on your calendar.
Once A Month, Go Meet New Folks
Go contribute to a local community if you can find one. If you commit to helping them, chances are that you won’t just forget about it; you’ll stick with it. Which is good news.
The less you have to think about building your social life, the better. Because that means it’s easy.
Subscribe to a local meetup group or interest based community and show up once a month – the last week of every month for example. These communities usually have monthly meetings anyway.
Why “Weekly” and “Monthly” Action Steps?
Why am I suggesting weekly and monthly action-steps? It’s because it’s a rhythm. A rhythm doesn’t stop. It’s like your work rhythm; you won’t forget to go to work, you’ll just do it.
The key here is building the habits.
If I give you an action step or a social technique that you can use now, and then forget it tomorrow; what’s the use?
The key is to leverage those few minutes that you have, but on a regular basis.
You invest only a few minutes, but you get a whole social life from it.
Your Social Skills Have To Stay Up To Date
Like any skill, if you’re not getting updates, thinking about it and practicing it, it weakens. All social skills are important, and you need at least some way of getting new ideas.
I combined scientific findings with proven to work, real life, making friends secrets that I have learned throughout the last several years, going through my own struggles from loneliness to a happy, abundant, social life.
Bonus: Watch This Webinar
I gave a one-hour long webinar to give a sneak peak of my methodologies. You can watch here, below. Or simply subscribe to my newsletter to receive a link for the recording.