If you want to know how to make friends as a couple or make friends as a married person, then this article is the perfect read for you. It may sound like a simple process on paper, but it can be a little challenging in practice. A lot of married people who are looking for a couple friends to hang out with know it. You must know it too. That’s what we’ll work on today.
It’s a good and healthy thing for couples to have other friends outside of their relationship. While a lot of couples consider their partners their best friends, it’s generally a better situation if you also have other people to talk to.
Making friends as a couple or as a married person can come with its challenges. For one, most couples and married people are considerably busier than single people. They spend more time building their careers among other things and rarely have time for socializing. Most married people’s routines go as follows: Wake up, prepare for work, go to work, go home, rest, sleep, and repeat. Socializing is rarely placed in the equation.
This doesn’t mean it’s something they never do, though. While they still find time to socialize, single people just have more time to socialize compared to that of married people.
If you’re someone who’s married or in a couple and are looking to meet other people to build friendships with, follow these ten tips to learn how to make friends as a couple or as a married person.
1. Talk To Your Partner About The Idea
First and foremost, if you’re looking to go out and socialize to make couple friends, you need to consult your partner before you do so.
Talk with your significant other about the prospect of making friends. Make sure your expectations and goals are the same. Discuss what kind of friends you both would like to have; what kind of activities you’d like to share with them; what kind of values and principles you’re looking for in the other couple; etc.
After that, you can start drawing out a plan. What will you do to make it happen? Are you both committed to keeping your radars up? Are you both committed to making plans, going out, meeting new people, and doing the effort to build the friendship?
If both of you can’t split the effort into two, then that’s okay. Maybe one of you has less time than the other to socialize or is less sociable, or simply lack the motivation to.
However, one thing to make sure your in agreement in is this: if one of you goes to the lengths of meeting other couples, making plans, and arranging things, then the other one not only has to show up, but will also have to engage, be friendly, and make the effort to build the friendship.
The most frustrating thing in this process is if only one in the couple does all the work, and the other person declines to make any effort at the last mile, especially when you’re actually on the double-date or social gathering.
So, in general, make sure your goals are aligned and that you agree with what each of you will do to reach that goal. Making friends as a couple should be a double effort. Both of you should be willing to commit to the process.
2. Don’t Limit Making Friends With Other Couples Only
Don’t limit yourselves to making friends with couples only. If you do, it adds a lot of pressure on both of you and your interactions with other couples will become a little bit forced — as if it’s an audition, an interview, or worse, a first date.
Instead, be flexible in your goals towards making friends. Aim to befriend both couples and singles. Do not entirely cut off singles or people who can’t bring their significant other. That way, you’re not putting too much pressure on the social interaction.
Limiting your socializing with couples only will place a sign on your head that says “I’M ONLY OPEN TO MAKING FRIENDS WITH OTHER COUPLES”. That’s an energy you will unknowingly project and other people will most definitely sense it. Instead, you want to give the impression that you don’t mind having a few singles in your friend group as well. That you’re willing to be friends with anyone regardless if they’re single or in a relationship.
Remember, some of your potential couple friends do have other dear friends that are single. You do not want them to feel like they have to choose between seeing you and seeing their single friends. Who knows, maybe their single friend can end up being your friend too!
3. Invite People Out And Have Them Bring Their Spouse
Many people who go out to meet new people don’t immediately include their significant other to their new friend group. That means many of the people you meet or will meet in the future who appear single may have a significant other. It’s something that you will casually discover along the way as you keep hanging out with them. The opportunity to hang out with them both in the future will eventually present itself and you have to take advantage of it when it does.
This is one of the first things that you can or should do. Before you go out to actively meet other couples to build friendships, seek the friends you already have first. Another thing you can do is if you meet someone along the way who’s single, you can encourage them to bring their significant other the next time you hang out. You may have a lot of friends who are in relationships. Maybe they also want other couples to hang out with.
Start asking any of your friends who are in relationships if they have any plans going on. If any of them are available, you can say something like “oh me and (your partner’s name) are planning to visit a winery this weekend. It’ll be fun if other people could come with us. Do you and (their partner’s name) want to come along?”
You can do this with any of your friends who are in relationships. If you haven’t met a friend’s partner yet, then this is a good opportunity for you to meet and get to know them. On the other hand, if you’ve met them already, then just simply use the social activity as an opportunity to get to know them better. Something like this can be a groundwork towards possible friend group in the future.
4. Locate Famous Hang Out Places
You can use websites or apps for this one. There are a lot of them out there that are dedicated to helping people find “hotspots” for socializing.
Places like bars, clubs, wineries, beaches, and museums are just some of the best places couples hang out. You and your partner can go to those places too. Enjoy the scenery and the atmosphere, then socialize with as many people as you can.
Websites like Meetup, Eventbrite, and Facebook are perfect for this. Browse these sites for events or places that hold gatherings, or for places that most people in your community go to.
5. Do Your Favorite Activities As A Couple
If you and your partner have a hobby or an extracurricular activity that you both regularly do, use that as an opportunity to socialize with other people. Keep doing the things you love to do and you’ll meet others who share your enthusiasm towards that.
For example: let’s say you and your partner love to go scuba diving. The next time you dive, do so with other groups. Find other divers or join a club that dives together. This way, you’ll be able to do your hobby regularly and have the chance to meet other people in the process. You can do this with any hobby. You can even do it with more than one activity if you and your partner do a lot of things in your free time.
Another thing you can do is join a class; if there’s anything you and your significant other want to do but haven’t been able to do so. Chances are, you’ll be able to meet a lot of people in that class who are just as eager as you to learn. Get to know them early on and you’ll have the chance to master the craft together. That is a very good way of building a friendship and friendships like those tend to have a higher chance of remaining strong for a long time.
This is one of the most fun parts of having friends as a couple. Doing things with the person you love is fun already in itself, but more fun can be had if a lot of people in one place all do something they all love, especially if they’re friends. That’s something you can experience, just have socializing in mind the next time you go out to do an activity.
6. Host Parties
It’s a good opportunity to go out, attend parties and events to meet other people, but you’ll be at a bigger advantage if you’re the one hosting the party yourself. You and your partner should consider hosting your party and inviting as many people as possible. Make sure your guests are also allowed to invite other people, to allow a higher chance of meeting more new people.
You are at an advantage when it comes to socializing when you’re the one hosting because you’re playing the game at your home court. You can either do this in your own home or at a place you’re very familiar with.
Being the host also means everyone at the party will feel obligated to come up to you. People will thank you for hosting the party, for inviting them, and for being the reason why they’re having a good time that night. You and your partner will have every opportunity to make friends with EVERYONE at that party.
There are a lot of things that you can do to make the party interesting, but serving food and drinks and having music played in the background is always enough. Those three are enough ingredients to formulate an amazing party. Everyone just needs to be talking to each other, getting to know one another. That’s where you come in.
Make sure everyone gets the chance to get to know everyone. Introduce people to each other. When someone arrives and you don’t know who it is (someone else at the party invited them), don’t wait for the person who asked them to come to introduce them. Go ahead and introduce yourself, and your partner of course, then introduce them to everyone else.
Doing something like this will give you the appearance of a party connoisseur. An outgoing person. Someone who has amazing social skills. Once you’ve done all that, you can then proceed to go up to each one of your guests to socialize.
7. Take A Vacation
Another amazing way to make friends when you’re married or as a couple is to travel. You get a chance of meeting other travelers when you travel. If one traveler meets another in a foreign place, there’s generally a higher sense of friendliness. People’s moods are better and the atmosphere is more fun-filled than usual.
Although you’ll have very little chance of meeting people who live around you abroad, don’t let that stop you. If you’re a frequent traveler, then this is a good opportunity to have people to discuss your travel adventures. You can even discuss possible future travel destinations.
Once you hit it off with people you meet when traveling, you can then ask for their contact information. Who knows? You may cross paths again the next time you and/or they travel. They may even ask you to visit their home town and you can do the same as well.
Another amazing thing that can happen if you’re being friendly abroad, is you’ll get the chance to befriend locals. Once you find a place you love and you end up befriending the locals there, your next travels to that area will become so much more fun and interesting.
8. Be More Involved In Your Community
Be more involved in your community to get the chance to make couple friends with the people who live close to you. You can also use online websites and apps for this.
Seek out events and activities that are being held by or for your community and be sure you and your partner take the time to join it. If there are events you both are uncomfortable with, then that’s fine. Skip that. But there are many others that you can join and find the ones you and your partner are comfortable with and join that.
Many events and extracurricular events are usually held in communities around the world. Feeding programs, learning centers, fitness programs, sports programs, etc. Find the ones that suit you and your partner. It’s better if the event you’ll join is something you’re passionate about too. You’ll have more fun that way.
Once you’re at the event, be sure you and your significant other go up to other people when given the chance. Make couple friends or single friends by approaching anyone you can. Introduce yourselves, ask why they decided to come to the event, and divulge your reasons as well.
Events like these are a great way to make friends as a married person because most people who attend community events are the ones who have their own families. Those who contributed a lot to the community or will be impacted most if anything were to happen to a community.
9. Don’t Let The Pressure And Stress Get To You
Making friends as a married person can be quite challenging. It can be demanding mentally and physically. For you to succeed and to make couple friends, you’ll have to be willing to exert extra effort. This is why a lot of people feel stressed when doing this task. Or will feel pressured because they haven’t found the friends that are right for them yet.
Don’t let the pressure and stress get the best of you. Just stay relaxed and move at your own pace. Study and research, just as you’re doing now, and apply them in real life.
If you’re feeling the stress and pressure right now, here are a couple of tips on what you should do and talk about when you’re actually in front of other couples trying to make friends:
Talk about your favorite activities
Earlier we talked about how you can meet people while doing the things you love. This time, when you meet other people, talk about your interests and see if it aligns with them. If it does, then ask them out and see if they’d be willing to do them with you and your significant other. This serves as a signal to others that you like to hang out as a couple. It also allows others to say the kinds of activities they like.
Use small talk as a build-up
Once you meet other couples, do small talk for the sake of getting to know them more. Small talk topics like where they’re from, what they do, what their interests are, and so forth are enough to lay the groundwork.
Slowly make the conversation more interesting and go into more meaningful topics as you go along. This will give you all a sense that you’re progressing. That you’re gradually becoming closer.
As you do that, try and find things you have in common with the other couple. This can be very fun if it’s a quirky habit that your significant other has, and the other couple can relate.
You must remain open, vulnerable, and approachable whenever you’re out socializing. Try and share an embarrassing story or a funny memory that once happened to you and/or your partner. This shows that you’re open, that you don’t take yourself overly seriously, and that you’re relatable. You all will have a good laugh in the process, and thus will start to form a friendship forming.
Relate to each other
One of the best ways to make couple friends or to make friends as a married person is to relate to others. Since you’re in a couple trying to make friends with other couples, why don’t you share something that other couples will relate to?
For example, You can talk about how you and your partner met. That will allow and encourage others to also share how they met. It’s always interesting to know and talk about the story behind how people meet, and that might be something you can connect on.
10. Socialize Individually
Another thing you shouldn’t limit yourself is to only socialize as a couple. Socialize individually too. You can go out yourself, hang out with your friends, meet new people, and eventually, invite other people to hang out with you and your partner. Your partner can and should do the same as well.
As mentioned earlier, you can meet people without knowing they’re in a relationship because they’ve chosen not to bring it up yet. Once they do, you can then let them know you’re married or in a relationship as well. That will create a mutual ground between you and them. You can then open up the idea of the four of you hanging out together.
Being married or being in a relationship is an amazing thing, but it doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to do things individually. You can and socializing can be done individually too. If you’re able to hang out as a couple every once in a while and hang out individually on other times, then it means you’re in a relationship that’s dynamic, healthy, and trusting.
11. Try an App for Making Friends As a Couple
As we mentioned in our list of apps for making friends, Party of 4 is for couples only. It’s an app to find friends based on your location and the phase of life you’re in (for example: if you have kids, no kids, etc.). It’s an app for finding platonic friendship only (strictly enforced). Make a profile today and start swiping!
Swipe through couples that are:
- NEAR YOU: Simply set your radius and start swiping. Find those friends right around the corner who can pop by for an impromptu hang out.
- IN THE SAME PHASE: Simply set your filters and start swiping. Kids? No kids? Just moved to a new city? Find friends who are in the same phase of life as you.
- ‘DOUBLE TENS’: Swipe on couples you BOTH find interesting. Have you ever been on a double date and one person is a solid 10/10 on the ‘cool scale’ but their partner is a 2/10 at most? We’ve been there too! Simply start swiping and find your ‘Double Tens.’
- INTO THE SAME ACTIVITIES: Check out a couple’s bio to see what they enjoy doing. Then match with your new brewery friends, or new golf friends, or new foodie friends. Whatever you and your partner enjoy doing, find another couple to do it with!
Download the free app and start swiping!
Making friends as a married person is challenging, yes, but it’s very satisfying if you succeed. It’s also beneficial for you and your partner in the long run. Just imagine having the option to either do things with just the two of you or to have more people in the mix whenever you’re planning to do something. It’s a beautiful dynamic and you can do it as well as long as you follow the tips here.
If you want to learn more about socializing, how to make friends, and how to improve your social skills faster, check out the other articles on this website. Check the ebook too. Those will help you become the most socially skilled person you can be and will help you make friends as a married or in-a-relationship person.