Last week, I went on a 4-day trip with a few friends. We visited two cities and drove quite a bit.
I happen to like organizing trips and preparing fun adventures so I ended up organizing the whole thing: timing, hotels, choice of restaurants, transport, I even booked access to a club with an amazing pool, we had lots of fun.
This got me thinking about how important it can be to be a “useful friend”. It sure helps your social life if you can contribute to creating awesome experiences for everyone involved with you.
It’s not very hard. It’s just about knowing where to go, knowing how to plan for fun, taking initiative, and doing it. If you have that kind of skill, you naturally feel confident about your social value, in a real way.
But, in a way, it’s just about gathering information and experience.
This helps especially in the context of hanging out with existing friends. And it also helps when you’re just getting to know potential ones – you know where to go and what to do.
I used to stink at this, but I learned…
It wasn’t always easy for me; I used to struggle to make plans or get invited by others.
But, at one point, I decided to know everything I can about how to have fun and socialize in my city. I wanted to build a social lifestyle.
I started making plans, even with people I barely knew. I remember once inviting a group of three girls I barely knew, to go to a bar I never been to before. That’s not a comfortable thing to do – especially when you lack experience in socializing, making conversations, and having fun.
But I kept going to small adventures like that. I wanted to train my wheels, gain experience, and build a social life ASAP.
After a while, I had enough experience to be able to quickly decide where to go/ what to do. And I started making plans with people I really wanted to have as friends.
See, if you build this kind of skill, it’ll be super useful for when you meet people you absolutely want as friends.
A word of warning
I learned to never expect things to go all rosy and perfect. Sometimes, some people aren’t appreciative of your efforts, they don’t show any gratitude, and never invite you back or make efforts. Some of them even start to take you for granted.
It feels bad, but at least it shows you who deserves to be on your radar, and who doesn’t. It’s part of life.
The most important thing is to do it for yourself. Do it for your own self-improvement. It will help lot in building your social life. And when you meet people who deserve your efforts, you’ll be ready!
– Paul Sanders