By Paul Sanders.
Have you ever been in this situation?
You meet a new person, you would like to make friends with him or her, you KNOW that you would make a great friend for them, and yet, you couldn’t really talk and express yourself freely.
If you’ve been in this kind of situation, then there’s something important I’m sure you’ve already learned: When you meet new people, the most attractive sides of you tend to disappear and you run out of things to say.
As much as this seems to be completely weird, unexplainable, and unfair, it’s not.
Let me show you what’s going on here when it comes to meeting and connecting with new people to save you a lot of time, headache, and frustration.
Your brain doesn’t “shut down” all the good sides of your personality, neither does it make you forget all the things you can talk about – although it sure seems that way to a lot of people who can’t make friends.
How Improvising Ruins Your Chances of Making New Friends
The truth is, when meeting new friends, most people don’t take the time to learn how it’s done. They try to “improvise” and expect to have more friends in their life, even if they lack the experience that it takes. They need some preparation, before going out and meeting friends.
Now, this might sound very different from what you’ve heard.
Why would people quickly judge that you’re not a good potential friend? Because of THEIR INSTINCTS.
Most people will tell you that preparing to meet friends is not necessary. They say that you should be spontaneous and just “be yourself”.
I understand, I heard that all my life.
But if you don’t know how to be spontaneous AND do the right things, then you’ll end up having a lot of great people walk right out of your life, because the first conversations don’t work well.
But, there are ways to turn this around…
Unless you want keep having dull conversations with people that could become great friends in your life, you’re going to have to forget about improvising your conversations with the new people that you stumble upon.
And you’re going to have to start talking about the right things in the right way, to create connections with potential friends, faster (as difficult and complicated as that sounds – it’s not).
One thing that can help you turn a stranger into a friend, is to talk about three things: What each one of you does every day, how each one of you does for fun, and how is that connected. If you make sure you’ve talked about these things (among others), and especially talk about what connects you, then it’s easy to get in touch with people and turn them into friends.
This is a subtle, but incredibly valuable skill to master if you want to be able to talk to anyone and make friends with.
Think about how your life would be if you had more of those friends that you can really let go and have a lot of fun experiences with: evenings, get-togethers, parties, travels, and birthday parties. And those are also the ones who will make your life better by supporting you in making your goals happen.
Looking Beneath The Surface of Conversations
Most people think that if they figure out a way to say “cool things” when they meet new people, and behave in a way that will make them seem interesting, then people will simply make an effort to be friends with them.
But the truth is that if you don’t know what’s going on beneath the surface – inside the dynamics of how conversation and making friends work – then you’re not going to understand what makes a simple conversation translates into real good friendships.
There’s a deeper level of understanding you need to have about conversation.
If you feel that what’s wrong in your social life is a result of not understanding how great conversations work and how great friendships are created, then you need to read my eBook Get The Friends You Want and discover the gap of knowledge that is between you and the friends and fun social life you desire.
And if you have even a vague feeling that the problem in your social life has something to do with how you’ve been making conversations in the past, my eBook will help you take control of this so you stop having the same mistakes that prevent people from wanting to be friends with you.
Why would people quickly judge that you’re not a good potential friend? Because of THEIR INSTINCTS. Because their instincts tell them to not consider you as a friend, based on the things you talk about and how you behave when you just meet them.
To learn what makes people want to be friends with some people, while completely ignoring others, download and read a copy of my eBook: Get The Friends You Want. Try it risk free for 30 days, and learn how to be the person that doesn’t get rejected by potential friends.
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