In this article, I’d like to share with you 15 important social skills. These skills help you build a social life. In fact, they determine whether or not you get to have a social life.
Why are they so important? Because when you’re trying to make (and keep) new/interesting friends, you go through a few steps.
If you lack even one of the skills I’m about to share with you, you’re kind of forced to start from the beginning. This makes you feel discouraged and frustrated.
And you won’t try to make new friends again until maybe a month or even 3 months later.
Here’s an example…
Going out to meet new people
Let’s say you decide to get a social life. You start looking for great local communities of people who have interests similar to yours. You find a couple of events and add them to your calendar.
Great! You’re set to go out and make new friends.
Only when you get there, you feel out of place. You don’t feel welcome. You feel like a stranger.
That would be unfortunate. You won’t feel like having great conversations, let alone have any fun.
That’s like a door that gets closed. You can’t access those potential friendships because you didn’t master the skill of feeling welcome and at home wherever you are, and whenever you want to socialize.
This may seem like just another evening that didn’t go as planned. But, it may be much worse than that.
Because… after this happens, when will you try again? The next day? No, you will probably feel discouraged and blow it off. You may wait a month, or even three months, before you work up the courage and motivation to go out again and meet new people.
That’s at least 3 months of your life that go by, without you having the social life I know you deserve and can have!
You probably know that it doesn’t take just motivation. It also takes some planning and scheduling of these social activities within your already-busy life.
Want proof? Just ask yourself: when’s the last time you went out to meet new people? When is the last time you reached out to an acquaintance who has potential to be a great friend? If you only try two or even three times in one year… that’s just not enough unfortunately.
Here is another example…
Meeting People A Second Time To Build Friendships
Let’s say you went out, met some new interesting folks, had great conversations with a few of them, and exchanged contact info with those with whom you “clicked” the most.
A week or so later, you reach out to them to suggest to meet again. And,… nothing happens! They’re busy or not even responsive to your calls or texts. You know how frustrating that is.
That’s another “door” that got closed.
Again, you probably won’t try again to make new friends, until you get over that disappointment.
Here is the solution…
Master the 15 Social Skills that give you ACCESS to the social life you want
To give you some context, these are skills to be used when meeting entirely new people, or meeting friends of friends. Here they are:
- Blend-in and feel at home wherever you go to socialize
- Stop social hesitations that hold you back and access that freedom to socialize whenever you want
- Start conversations whenever you want, and even get others to come up and talk to you
- Have conversations that get more and more fun and interesting as they progress (interesting and fun for YOU as well, not just the other person or people)
- Capture people’s attention when you want to – and have them get focused with you instead of getting distracted by a loud environment
- Know who actually likes you and appreciates your uniqueness – in other words, figure out if they have a great taste in people 🙂
- Figure out quickly who can make a great potential friend (so you don’t waste too much time where there isn’t a “fit”)
- Turn friendly conversations into actual plans to meet and socialize in the near future
- Make plans and get people to throw the excuses and come socialize with you
- Get the friendship started quickly, without waiting for it to just “happen” on its own
- Actually keep friends, so you’re not back to square one each time
- Prevent and get rid of all old habits that alienate great potential friends
- Manage talking to a group – you know, because most “amazing” people come in packs
- Know how to join a group of friends without feeling like you want something from them
- Acquire a general knowledge and culture that gets everyone to see you as an interesting and relatable person. Hint: this gets you constantly invited to social gatherings and parties.
I hope this isn’t too overwhelming. I’m 100% confident that you can access and deserve a social life that is much better than you thought possible. And these skills can make it a reality.
I’m currently developing a special training around these 15 critical social skills. It’s coming out in a few months hopefully, and I’ll let you know of the progress.
Meanwhile, if you haven’t read the Get The Friends You Want eBook, then check it out right now. Your time and the social life you can access are too valuable. They’re important enough that you take action today, start learning, and applying.
You can download the eBook here: Get The Friends You Want eBook.
– Paul Sanders