Social Skills, Loneliness, and Selfies

Social Skills and Making Friends News – Edition #1

My team and I have decided to start an exciting new series, where we share with you the latest resources we’ve found on social skills, making friends, and conversation techniques. As we run across helpful articles and blog posts we’ll be assembling them here for you to have the most up to date information at your fingertips. Make sure you’re subscribed to our newsletter so you don’t miss any editions!

Now, let’s get on with our latest reads from the news…

Chronic Loneliness Is a Modern-Day Epidemic

an elderly woman using a digital tablet

In this interview piece on, we find out why humans are wired for social connection and why chronic loneliness has increased over the last 20 years. John Cacioppo, author of Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, shares what he learned from studies over the last couple of decades.

This is one of those great reads you can find from time to time, summing up very well how loneliness works our modern world. It shows you exactly how it affects your brain, how it makes you think that there is something wrong with you, and how it actually pushes you to isolate yourself more.

That’s right, as I’ve been saying for years: loneliness can be a trap!

But the right way to deal with loneliness is to recognize that it’s just a signal. The more you learn about how to deal with that signal, the less lonely you’ll be. Your best way forward is awareness and education about how to get from loneliness to being socially happy.

Is Selfie Culture Making Our Kids Selfish?


Here are two pieces discussing the effects of social media our social skills and abilities. In the first article on, Sharon Jayson talks about “selfie syndrome” and how technology disrupts our kids’ social and emotional lives. The Star Online also talks about a new study revealing that social interaction behind a screen rather than in real life could be preventing teens from developing the relationship skills they need.

It’s not just kids!

When people start to believe too much in the online persona they’re creating, that’s where things can get unhealthy. People care too much about their online image these days, and when that online image is farther and farther from reality, that’s where you run into trouble.

Real life becomes that place where you have no control. Where you can’t have too much of a say on how you’re perceived. You can’t edit, you can’t tweak, nor add any filters to real interactions.

But that’s the only “real” life you have. You should be able to face the world knowing that you have your flaws and shortcomings, and know that that’s okay. People can’t make friends with people who have “no flaws.” They know it’s an illusion, no human being is flawless. They don’t buy into it. People who want to appear flawless come off as untrustworthy.

So, live in the real world as much as you can. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat aren’t “social” networks unless they lead you to MEETING THE PEOPLE YOU’RE INTERACTING WITH. Let’s remember that. 😉

‘Love Hormone’ Gene May Be Key to Social Life

WebMD shares some new research where more than 120 people were clinically assessed for social skills, brain structure and brain function. Read on to see their potential findings regarding a specific hormone and what role it plays regarding your social thinking.

As I’ve said before, your social skills and ability to make friends comes down to your nature and nurture. It heavily depends on your family, as you’re growing up, but once you become an adult, it all depends on how much effort and dedication you put into it.

The hormone they’re talking about here is Oxytocin, which is the one released when you’re with loved ones, friends, etc. It’s the one that helps you be more social, open, and friendly. If this scientific finding gets confirmed further, then we may now know which gene is responsible for releasing the oxytocin hormone.

It’s interesting as we delve even further on which genes are responsible for which character traits… but let’s remember that making friends and social skills are something YOU CAN LEARN.

It doesn’t matter how much of it you inherited from your parents and circumstances, you can still learn it and be excellent at it. I did it, my readers have done it, and there is no reason why you shouldn’t.


– Paul Sanders

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