You’ll need to stop being a loner if you want to improve your social life. This, however, is easier said than done. A lot of people who are loners don’t even completely know they’re being loners. But the signs are pretty clear-cut.
If you’ve been a loner for a while, the idea of being socially skilled and making new friends seem impossible. However, this is far from the truth. As long as you really want it and you’ll work for it, you can eventually stop being a loner. Your life will become brighter and your social life will flourish once more.
Having said these things, here are ways you can follow so you can stop being a loner and make new friends again.
Force yourself to go out
If you’ve been a loner for a while, then you must have not gone out to socialize with others for a while now. If this is indeed the case for you, then the first step to stop being a loner is the most difficult one.
What you’ll need to do first is to actually force yourself to just go out there. It sounds like a simple endeavor, but if you haven’t done it in a while, it can be very overwhelming. The most difficult part especially comes when you’re finally out and about, surrounded by people you don’t know and trust yet.
If you get invited out next time, don’t hesitate to go. You can also simply seek out events on your own. That way, you can find an event you feel like you’re at least going to be comfortable with. You can make this endeavor easier for yourself by doing this.
Establish a proper connection with people you know
If you want to stop being a loner now, you can start by re-establishing your connection with the people you already know. If you have people in your life you consider close acquaintances, even friends, reach out to them. This can work with family members too.
Reach out to them and tell them you want to reconnect with them. It can be as simple as this. Make sure that when you do this, you do it sincerely. Keep in mind that you’re the one who needs help. You’re the one who’s reaching out. If someone agrees to reconnect with you, be grateful. Show them that you’re grateful. Act like you’re grateful. Because you should be.
This is a very good place to start. You don’t need to seek out new people and make new friends if you want to stop being a loner. You can simply begin with the friends you already have. Over the past months or years, you may have neglected the friendship you have with them. Now is the time to change that.
Find a hobby
Finding a hobby isn’t only good for you mentally, it is also really good for your social life. As long as you remain active and hands-on in that hobby by joining classes and the like, you’ll be able to meet like-minded people.
This is a very good way of forming new connections. You’ll already have a common ground with these people. It is an environment where getting to know one another is easy. If you have something in common with someone, you tend to feel more comfortable with letting them know who you are.
Aside from this great benefit, finding a hobby will also allow you to be more occupied. You’ll have more time having fun, either with friends or by yourself, and less time being more of a loner.
Start being friendly to everyone you meet
Here’s a practice you’ll need to do from here on out — start being friendly to everyone you meet. Employ a personality that’s kinder and friendlier. Be a warmer presence than you usually are. This way, people will have an easier time interacting with you. You’ll be seen as a person others can feel comfortable with.
Being friendly to everyone is a really easy task. In fact, it can even be very heartwarming. You can do this by simply greeting people you encounter. A simple smile, a nod, and a warm greeting go a long way.
Start being friendly to the people you constantly come across. People you see on your way to work, people at your favorite hang-out spot, your co-workers, wherever.
Have a good reputation at work
One thing you can do to help yourself stop being a loner is to have a good reputation at work. You don’t need to be the nicest, most awesome person in the office, but you shouldn’t be perceived as a recluse either.
If you weren’t friendly to your co-workers in the past, now’s the time to change that. Start with small chitchats. Engage with your co-workers. If there are office gatherings and the like, attend them. Socialize with your co-workers.
Everyone knows how tough it can be at work. Make your life better by making friends at work. Trust me, a lot of them need it too, just as you do. You’ll be surprised at how better you can make your work-life by simply being nice to your co-workers.
Join the gym
Joining the gym is another thing you can do that will help you stop being a loner. On top of that, you’ll also have the added benefit of being physically healthier.
You’ll be hitting a lot of birds with just one stone by simply joining the gym. For one, as mentioned, it will make you healthier. What a lot of people don’t know is that the healthier you are, the happier you will be. Working out releases chemicals called endorphins, the chemicals responsible for your happy and positive thoughts and feelings.
Working out will also help you feel more confident about yourself. Confidence is key when it comes to socializing. If you’re more confident, you’ll find it easier to be friendly with those you meet.
Finally, you’ll also have a lot of chances to meet new people at the gym. People who are also doing their best to better themselves physically, mentally, and socially. You’ll find that your interactions with these individuals will go from talking about work-out regiments to eventually talking about your personal lives.
Get to know people who are socially skilled
As you go out and meet more and more people, you’ll encounter a lot of individuals who are incredibly socially skilled. Observe these people. These are the individuals you’ll want to learn from.
A lot of these socially skilled people are also really decent and kind deep inside. Chances are, they’ll be more than happy to be friends with you. With that, make an effort not only to observe them but to befriend them too! You’ll get the chance to learn from a socially skilled person while actually being friends with them.
Take notice of how these socially skilled people approach others. Take note of how they tell stories and how they captivate those who listen to them. Understand how they’re able to make friends with strangers. See this as an opportunity to improve socially.
Learn how to be more optimistic
Optimism is one of the most vital things you can have if you want to stop being a loner. The idea of being a loner is plagued with sadness and pessimism. You must simply counter that by employing the mindset that’s opposite of those.
It’s easy to say you’ll start being more optimistic from now on, but it’s nothing if you don’t take it to heart. That’s why for this to work, you should actually want it. Want and need the idea of being optimistic. It will be easier to practice it if you want it.
This is one of those things where the expression “mind over matter” really comes into play. That’s all this is about. Believe that good things can and will happen. Make these things happen. See the good in everything. Be more positive and your overall lifestyle will follow suit.
Do your best to be more confident
As mentioned here already, confidence is key when it comes to making friends. With that in mind, make sure you nourish that aspect of your personality as well.
If you’ve been a loner for a while now, then your confidence must be at an all-time low. As terrible as this sounds, you shouldn’t worry. You’re pretty much capable of lifting it back up. With work, dedication, and time, you can be the confident person you want to be.
Remember everything you’ve read here thus far. Confidence will grow the more you take care of yourself, the more you take care of your social life, and the more you believe in yourself. Those three are important components of your confidence, the last one most importantly. Believe in yourself and your confidence will sky-rocket once again.
Look the part
If you want to stop being a loner and become more socially skilled, confident, and friendly, look the part. Have the appearance of someone who’s confident in his skin. Someone who’s excited to make friends. Make others see you as someone who’s socially skilled just by looking at you.
This is done by the way you take care of yourself and how you handle yourself in public. This means you’ll want to be as presentable as you can, whenever you can, and you’ll also need to be mindful of your body language.
For the former, simply be neat and presentable wherever you go. Be someone you’d want to approach. Get a haircut if you need one. Trim your nails. Iron your clothes. It seems superficial to consider this, but in accordance with your goal, it matters to the overall picture.
For your body language, you’ll need to be more mindful. This can take a lot of practice to perfect too. From now on, do your best to project the body language of a confident person. Avoid slouching. Avoid crossing your arms all the time. Practice maintaining eye contact. Try to smile more often.
Attempt to join social groups
There are a lot of social groups out there intended mainly for socializing. Find one. There’s bound to be one in your city. Turn to forums, online groups, or word-of-mouth information to find them.
These appear in many forms. Many social groups are book clubs, wine tastings, conventions for specific pop culture media, and the like. While these have varying functions, the one thing they all have in common is that people flock to these events to meet others who share the same interests as they do.
This is a very fun and easy way to meet like-minded individuals. Thus, these are places that will allow you to make friends really easily. Be sure to take advantage of this opportunity when you find one.
Make one friend
If all of these seem overbearing and unbearable to you, if it sounds like such a monumental task to complete, think about one thing — make one friend. That’s all you’ll have to think about.
Stop worrying about the bigger picture for a second. Don’t worry about overcoming the odds, don’t worry about mental and social repercussions, and stop worrying overall. What you simply need to keep in mind right now is to make one friend. Narrow the goal down to just that, and the task seemingly becomes simple.
That’s because it is simple. Your goal to stop being a loner boils down to your ability to make friends and maintain them.
Just make one friend for now. Once that’s done, start thinking about maintaining that friendship. Then, if you’re up for it, start thinking about making another friend. This whole thing is a step-by-step process. See it as such and focus on each step instead of worrying about the entire journey.
Be open with who you are
Be comfortable with the idea of talking about yourself to others. You’ll need to be transparent and open with your personality. Otherwise, others will never warm up to you. You’ll never be able to make friends if you remain closed and guarded.
When someone asks you to talk more about yourself, remember that they want to get to know you. This is an opportunity for friendship. Don’t let it go to waste.
That said, be open with who you are. Talk about your interests. Your goals for the future. Your past experiences. Tell others about who you are and the person you want to become.
Love yourself for who you are
If you want to be able to talk about yourself more properly, you’ll also need to learn how to love yourself for who you are.
Get to know yourself on an intimate level. Understand the things that make you who you are. Know your strengths. Know your weaknesses. Understand which aspects of you need to be improved. Know which of them are perfect as they are.
Then, learn to accept yourself for everything that’s a part of you. Love your strengths and accept your weaknesses. Nobody is perfect and neither are you. If you have flaws, good! That means you’re aware of your humanity.
If you can learn to love yourself perfectly for your imperfections, you’ll finally be able to stop being a loner. Your confidence will rise. You can talk about yourself more openly.
Practice introducing yourself
This is a minor thing you can do, but it will absolutely help you out in the long run. Practicing how to properly introduce yourself will allow you to have a great first impression on others. You’ll immediately be seen as a confident and socially adept person. Thus, others will be drawn to get to know you better.
Practice in front of a mirror. Practice how to flow your thoughts into words properly and how your facial expressions move about as do it.
When introducing yourself, make sure to only focus on the most important things people will want to know from the get-go. You don’t need to share everything immediately. You can start with your name, what you do, and lean the conversation back to the other person. The “getting to know each other” part will follow later on.
Learn how to laugh at your misgivings
If you stumble every once in a while, it is absolutely important that you don’t freak out. A lot of people tend to overthink their mistakes. Instead of fixing it by approaching it properly, they instead overthink, overreact, and react inappropriately. This only makes the situation worse.
The best thing you can do when you happen to make mistakes in public, in front of others, is to be positive about it. Apologize or make fun of yourself. Be as light-hearted as you can be about it. This portrays confidence and self-assurance.
Relax every once in a while
Since this goal is admittedly harder than it sounds, it can also help if you relax every once in a while. You don’t need to go all-in on this. You must simply be willing and dedicated enough. This doesn’t mean you should allocate 100% of your time to socializing and being around other people. You’ll need time for yourself as well.
That said, take a day or two off just by yourself. Not only will this recharge your social battery, but it will also allow you to think. It will allow you to gain perspective. It will help you think about your progress and what you need to do next.
One of the most important things you should remember throughout all this is sincerity. Make sure you remain sincere while following every single step here. When befriending someone, be sincere. When laughing at your mistakes, be sincere. No matter what it is you do, make sure you’re sincere when doing them.
A lot of people will be able to see through falsehood. This whole thing won’t work if you don’t actually want it. Besides, it will be easier for you too if you remain sincere. Just remember that you’re doing all of this for the sake of your mental and social health. You’ll see positive results in the end.
Don’t be too hard on yourself
When the going gets tough, make sure you don’t beat yourself up too hard. Yes, this is difficult. Yes, you will feel defeated at times. Even if you follow every single step here to a T, some setbacks and mistakes are inevitable.
Don’t feel bad when this happens, and definitely don’t be too hard on yourself in the process. Just pick yourself back up and move forward. Take a break if you need to, but never think about giving up. Never blame yourself for any wrong thing. Learn how to appreciate yourself for you doing your best to be better.
If your situation is a little more on the mental aspect of things, be sure to seek out the help of a trained professional. If you feel you need something more specific, if you need to know exactly what’s wrong with you deep inside, you won’t be able to find your answers on your own.
Don’t hesitate to call for help. The sooner you do it, the better it is. After which, once you figure out exactly what’s happening and what to do moving forward, return to this article. Gather every information you can so you can be better and so that you’ll stop being a loner from now on.
Why You Should Stop Being a Loner
The more you stay being a loner, the harder it becomes to improve your social skills. You will eventually get used to the idea of being alone. It’s lonely, yes, and starting new connections will become much harder. The idea of meeting new people will become foreign to you. This is something you’ll need to avoid.
It is also incredibly damaging to your mental health if you remain a loner longer than you should be. Nobody is an island and no one deserves to be completely alone. We, as a species, need other people to thrive. Keep that in mind when doing all of this. It will help motivate you.
Improve Your Social Skills to Stop Being a Loner
To stop being a loner is a difficult task. It will take time and effort. It won’t always be rays of sunshine and rainbows, but it will be worth it in the end. If you want to be able to complete your goal faster, be sure to improve upon your other personality aspects as well.
Improve your social skills and you’ll eventually stop being a loner. Make new friends and be comfortable being in social environments. For that, be sure to refer to the other articles we have on this site. You’ll find a lot of resources here that can surely help you out. Good luck!