Welcome to edition #16 of our news series, where we share with you the latest resources we’ve found on social skills, making friends, and more. In this edition, we’ll discover that loneliness is on the rise, with more than one in eight adults saying they do not have a close friend, and hear some sage advice on how to combat it. Don’t forget to subscribe to the newsletter so you don’t miss any future editions!
Two lonely young women finally learn how to find friendship
Two teens report how socially awkward they are and how challenging it is for them to find friends. In this article on The Guardian, Mariella Frostrup answers the dilemma! While acknowledging that it’s uncomfortable and common to feel an invisible wall separating you from other people’s busy lives, loneliness is truly a state of mind that is possible to alleviate.
The biggest takeaway is to let go of preconceived notions of how others perceive you and just be yourself. Stop overthinking! Confidence and being comfortable in your own skin is attractive to both potential friends and romantic partners. And just like the old saying, “A watched pot never boils,” friendships and relationships tend to appear when you relax and stop hunting for them.
Paul’s commentary:
Trying To Be Someone You’re Not Will Drain Your Energy
You may think that there is a certain “type of people” who get to be social and enjoy great times with friends. So you may try to be a little like them, so you can enjoy a great social life as well.
But that’s like saying that “nobody would like ME, I have to pretend to be someone else.” That’s not what you want to be saying about yourself.
It doesn’t even work. It just drains your energy and discourage you before you can build any friendships. Instead, you’re able to harness your personality *YOU* and use it to attract and keep the right friends.
A growing epidemic… one in eight people have no close friends
The Daily Mail tells us that loneliness is on the rise. In fact, of almost seven million people in the UK, 13%, or one in eight, say they have no one to call a close friend. Worse yet, 45% of adults say they feel lonely!
Surprisingly, younger people report feeling lonelier than the elderly. The dependence on social media and lack of work-life balance are great contributors to this phenomenon. Making friends as adults isn’t easy, especially when we’re juggling careers and families. However, social relationships are essential to our health and wellbeing; we need support to be able to feel part of a community.
Paul’s commentary:
The key to beating loneliness is understanding it and taking action
It’s important that you understand that if you’re feeling lonely, your mind can play “tricks on you.” Not only you feel alone, and longing for social connection; but you also feel that “there is something wrong with you” and that “you’re kind of in trouble.”
Scientists who studied loneliness for decades tell us that this is because of how we evolved as a species. We needed others to survive then, and we need them now. If we feel lonely, we also feel that “we’re in deep trouble.”
If you’re feeling lonely right now, please understand that that feeling of “there is something wrong with me” is… baked in the loneliness cake. You just feel it automatically, even if it’s not true.
Loneliness is just a signal
You feel bad. Your body or mind aches. It’s your body’s natural way of saying “I need social connection to feel better.”
It’s just a signal. Don’t get overwhelmed, it’s time to take action. Start learning from us here at Get The Friends You Want, read the book, subscribe to the training, and start applying the techniques.
You’ll get a clear path, discover the right steps for you to build a social life and make friends. Please understand that it’s time to act!