When you’re good friends with someone, there’s no need of “keeping score”. You don’t have to think about what you’re getting from vs. what you’re contributing to the other person.
But, when you want to form a new friendship, you have to know “what’s going on” in terms of value exchange.
Here is an infographic to help you know HOW MUCH value to give and WHEN. Try to visualize yourself doing this with people you would love to be friends with.
Here’s WHY it’s important to follow a sequence like this :
- It’s hard, as a guy, to get the attention of a new person without coming across as a GIVER. They need to feel that they will be better of, having you as a friend.
- You spot TAKERS and OPPORTUNISTS easily : they start acting weird because you’re coming across as a GIVER and that’s just unnatural for them.
- You become very hard to be taken advantage of because you NEVER invest too much too soon in a friendship.
- You avoid rejection from people who already have too much friends (they’re pretty rare these days)… This is because you know when to stop reaching out to them. (you never come across as needy)
I hope this makes sens to you.
I’m interested to know if you ever had trouble knowing at witch stage you are in a new friendship.