If you hate being an introvert, don’t. Whatever misconceptions and prejudices you have with introversion, we’ll work on that in this article. An introverted person is someone who has a lot of depth and complexity. Just because their interests and social approach are different from those of extroverts, that doesn’t mean they actually can’t socialize.
What you need to understand right now is the aforementioned point. Both introverts and extroverts are capable of socializing, their approach is just different. We’ll discuss this aspect in detail later on. Right now, let’s get into how you can stop if you hate being an introvert.
The Definition of An Introvert
It is a very common misconception that introverts are socially awkward due to the fact that they dislike socializing. This couldn’t be further from the truth. A lot of people also believe an introvert needs to be an extrovert if they want to excel socially. This is also very untrue.
An introvert is someone who gathers energy from being in their safe space. In comparison, an extrovert is someone who gathers energy from being surrounded by other people. Another good translation for this is that introverts have a smaller social battery compared to extroverts. An extrovert can go on socializing for hours on end without feeling “drained.” An introvert, however, will eventually wear out and yearn for home.
Notice that this has nothing to do with not wanting to socialize. In fact, a lot of introverts and incredibly socially adept. It’s just that they know their limits and when to stop because they know their social batteries last shorter.
Introverts don’t hate socializing. They just function very differently from extroverts when it comes to being around other people.
Why You Hate Being An Introvert
There are many reasons why a person can dislike, or even hate being an introvert. Here are some of the most common reasons for them.
You have friends who are extroverts
You may have friends who are extroverts, who are very socially adept and outgoing. A feeling of envy can then arise from this which mistakenly makes you associate your introversion with social ineptitude.
This reason is understandable, but as we’ve discussed earlier, this is something you need to acknowledge as untrue.
You want to hang out more than you can
You want to hang out more than you can, but you ultimately cannot. Your social battery is short, therefore you tire very easily and very fast whenever you’re out and about. You go home and end up hating yourself and the fact that you’re an introvert because you wanted to stay longer, but you physically and mentally can’t anymore.
This is an unfortunate truth for introverts, but there’s also something you can do about it, which we’ll discuss in detail later on.
It’s dampened your social life
There are people around you who have good social lives and you don’t. Others have friends you wish you had but you can’t. You then blame this on your introversion, but in reality, it can be attributed to other things.
You believe socializing is an extrovert’s game
Since most of the people around you who have good social lives are extroverts, you start believing that socializing is an extrovert’s game. It isn’t. That’s an important fact you need to keep in mind for now. Socializing isn’t exclusive to extroverts, and you’ll learn exactly how to play this game as you read along with this article and as you scour the other articles on this site.
You’ve been criticized for it
At one point in your life, you may have gotten called out for your introversion. You keep getting asked out and you keep saying no or you always go home too early, and eventually, you got criticized and called out for it.
There are two things that can come into play here. One, misunderstanding, and two, simple ignorance. You may not have let others know of your introversion or perhaps those around you just don’t understand what an introvert is. This is something you can thankfully fix, which you should if you hate being an introvert.
What To Do If You Hate Being An Introvert
Hating your introversion is an unhealthy mindset you should get rid of immediately. Not only is this further harming your social life, but it is also very damaging to your mental health. Stop associating your introversion with social ineptitude and stop blaming it for your lack of social connections. That said, here’s what you need to do if you hate being an introvert.
Understand what being an introvert means
We’ve already discussed at the beginning of this article what it truly means to be an introvert. Now, read that part once again. Fully understand and internalize what it means to be an introvert. Stop associating it with things it has nothing to do with and start seeing it for what it truly is.
This is the very first step you need to acknowledge. If you understand what it means to be an introvert, you’ll find it easier to stop hating and start embracing your introversion. Stop blaming it for the things that have gone wrong in the past. If you’re able to get past this first step, the next steps will be much easier for you.
Socialize the way that is meant for you
Now that you understand what it means to be an introvert, now it’s time for you to cater your socializing approach to your personality. Socialize the way socially adept introverts socialize and you’ll be able to make friends wherever you go.
As mentioned, introverts generally have smaller social batteries compared to extroverts. With that in mind, don’t push yourself if your limit is at its breaking point. Know when to stop and when to recharge your social batteries.
There’s no need for you to socialize like an extrovert. You don’t have to stay at a party all night just because they are doing the same. Adhere to your limits but make the best out of the time you have.
Acknowledge the friends you already have
Start acknowledging the friends you already have now by spending more time with them. While you were hating your introversion prior to all this, they accepted you for you who are. Appreciate them for that. Let them know that you appreciate them for that. Something as simple as asking them out or having them over should be more than sufficient.
This will also help you appreciate your introversion more. The fact that you have the friends you have is proof that you don’t need to be an extrovert to make friends. You literally have walking and talking evidence of your capability to make friends. Make sure you let them know you appreciate them for it.
Never try to be extroverted
Your job here is to stop hating being an introvert, not to become an extrovert. In fact, that shouldn’t even be considered. You don’t need to “pretend” to be extroverted if you hate being an introvert. If your ultimate goal here is to be more socially adept, then focus on improving your social skills as an introvert instead of being more extroverted.
Get this thought out of your head and start another journey of acceptance. There’s beauty in being an introvert, which you’ll come to know and love later on.
Talk to other introverts
It will serve you greatly to start getting to know other introverts. Even better, start getting to know introverts who are socially adept. Observe how they act in a social setting and emulate it.
Perhaps some of the friends you have now are introverts, you just haven’t noticed it yet. There’s no harm in asking them about it. Most of the time, a person will not hesitate to divulge whether they’re an introvert or an extrovert. In fact, a lot of people don’t know which spectrum they stand on.
For now, though, just get to know other introverts and start observing them. Slowly but surely, you’ll start to see the many beauties and advantages that come with introversion. Realize that you can experience those things as well.
Talk to extroverts
You will also need to start talking to extroverts if you want to stop hating being an introvert. Perhaps you’ve had this mental picture and assumptions of what extroverts are like when they’re actually different in reality.
Take the opportunity to get to know an extrovert for yourself, not to emulate them but to understand them. Understand them to know the true differences between an introvert and an extrovert. Ask them for their perspectives, how they socialize, how they feel, and the like. Once you understand both extroverts and introverts fully, you’ll start to accept that you don’t need to be like someone who’s on the other end of the personality spectrum to be friends with them.
This isn’t just talking about your introversion. Remember, your introversion doesn’t define you. It’s just one piece of the puzzle that is your entirety. Love everything about yourself. Practice self-love by taking care of yourself, paying attention to your wants and needs, doing the things you want to do, and working on your goals.
If you’re able to fully love yourself and work on becoming a better version of yourself every single day, then the idea of hating on your introversion will easily be eliminated from the picture.
Welcome questions about your introversion
If you hate being an introvert, the most sensible approach to deal with it is to accept it. One very helpful way of doing that is to acknowledge your introversion. You shouldn’t just do this internally, but externally as well. If you happen to receive questions about your introversion, don’t brush those questions off. Welcome them and answer them.
Be open with your introversion and your acceptance of it will become easier and simpler. Talking about it out loud will also make the idea of you dealing with your introversion more concrete.
Know your advantages
Being an introvert has a lot of advantages and, if you’re to stop hating being an introvert, you need to know these fully.
For one, you feel completely safe and secure with being alone. Not a lot of people find solitude with solidarity. A lot of people rely on others in order to be satisfied and happy. While no man is an island in the long run, at least you, as an introvert, are able to find comfort in your moments of being alone.
You also learn when to stop socializing as an introvert to take a step back to recharge. During these moments, you’re able to fully internalize your moments of interactions. You’re able to think about the people you met, which ones of them have clicked with you, and which ones are best suited to be your friends.
As I said, there are so many beautiful aspects that come with being an introvert, and these can even be unique to each individual. Find something about your introversion aside from what I mentioned here that you can see as advantageous. Embrace them. Not everyone has those advantages.
Improve your social skills
If you currently hate being an introvert and want to stop it right now, start focusing on building up your social skills. A lot of introverts become socially inept because they don’t bother learning how to improve their social skills. A lot of them also believe socializing is not for them, which is far from the truth.
You’ll finally completely stop hating being an introvert the moment you become socially adept as an introvert. Fortunately, you’ll have a lot of study materials for that on this site. After you’re done with this article, be sure to check out the other articles on this site as well. There are a ton of articles here that will help you develop communication skills and deal with various social-related anxieties and loneliness.
Accepting and Loving Your Introversion
Regardless of whether you’re an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert, your ability to make friends is ultimately up to you. It’s not about which personality spectrum you stand on, it’s about your willingness and determination to socialize. It’s about your acknowledgment of the importance of friendship.
Once you’re able to understand this, if you hate being an introvert now, it will easily and surely start to transform into acceptance. Just know that your introversion is a beautiful thing and that you should accept it. Socialize as an introvert. That’s not the one holding you back.