Most people wonder why it was so easy for us as children to make friends vs. when we grow up.
When you were a kid, you could easily pick up friends in the park while engaging in a game of Freeze Tag or Hide n’ Go Seek.Now, it can feel like pulling teeth to befriend people and to get them to hang out with you.So, why was it so easy when we were kids and How can we go back to making friends that easy?It probably easier because you had…
No past disappointments
When you were a kid, you didn’t have your defences up. When a kid came to play, you assumed that it will only make the experience better. So you never hesitated to go and talk to every kid in the neighborhood for the sake of fun.
Now, after a few years of disappointments, heart aches, bullying, fist fights and rejections, people become hostile ! Anyone can be an enemy. Anyone is possibly be a jerk or a bitch only here to make himself or herself look better or to take advantage of you.
So, how do we go back to that state of Easy-Friend-Making?
My suggestion : Be Ready for Anything
When you know that you’re able to deal with any social situation, you open up yourself up to the people you’re curious about.
You understand that you can handle things as they come up and trust yourself to make the right decisions.
The more you put yourself in new social situations, the more self-assurance and Poise you’ll have. Everyone likes to be friends with a guy like that.
Example story
I once met a cool guy through a female friend in a music concert and we exchanged contact information. After that, we chatted on facebook on occasion, but never been out.
A few months ago, his birthday came up and I texted him a happy birthday message. He replied saying that he’s celebrating in a popular club with some of his close friends and that I should come.
Now, I had some reasons NOT to go :
-I didn’t know the guy that well
-It was a monday night, I was tired and ready to go to bed
-I didn’t know ANY of his friends and I could picture myself left alone and not talking to anyone
I ended up picking myself up and going just for the thrive of the New Experience : Going to a birthday party where I knew nobody !
I went there, greeted my friend. He introduced me to everyone. We chatted around dinner and had some drinks. We got to know each other, had fun and made jokes about everything.
I didn’t even need to stay close to the guy I knew, I just sat down and started talking.
I also made a move and called the attractive girl that introduced us to each other. She ended up coming too ! Can you picture someone doing that for your birthday party?
Would you like it if someone came to your birthday party, brought people to it and made it more fun?
If yes, then why don’t you do it for other people? It will only make them LOVE you for it !
Later on that night, we went downstairs and danced for a couple of hours, laughed, sung, took pictures and shared the delicious cake.
I ended up meeting a new fun guy who likes to go out and party. We hit it off pretty fast. I also befriended an attractive and interesting couple that later invited me to their house a couple of times.
The guy with the birthday is now a good friend that I see frequently.
All that came with me picking myself up, stepping out of my comfort zone and EXPLORING A NEW SITUATION.
I hope you will jump on the next social opportunity that will give you more experience and make you a little more READY to make friends. Just the way you used to do it when you were a kid.
Put the B.S aside, let’s make some new friends.
Paul S.