I first came across this concept by reading a great book by Keith Ferrazzi, “Who’s Got your back”.
Keith calls them “life-line relationships”. It’s the type of relationship you have with someone you feel that you can discuss anything with.
You can tell them about your secrets without any doubt of being betrayed.
You can tell them embarrassing things about you and then they actively prove to you how it’s “not a big deal”.
You can share you goals with them and have their full support even if anybody else wouldn’t believe in you.
And they even hold you accountable to these goals and don’t tolerate your slacking too much.
I’m lucky enough to have a few friends of this type. Unfortunately for me, three of these friends moved away to other countries. But, our relationships are so strong that we continually speak on the phone and on Skype to “check on” each other.
It’s like we want to make sure that each of us is getting closer to his goals.
We make sure to give “outside feedback” to each other. As men, we like to think that we’re right on track. But, more often than we think, outside feedback is CRITICAL to our success.
And, following my own experience, you have to have a good level of trust with the person to have such an Awesome experience.
I have the same thing with my sister witch I love a lot. I can tell her pretty much ANYTHING. And she’s the only one in my family that understands, takes the time to wear my shoes for a little bit and experience how it is.
I of course try my best to support these people as much as I can. Every time I talk to any of them I make sure that I come across as TOTALLY positive about their future and current lives.
It’s like the whole world can give up on them… and I won’t. I don’t care. I’ll go to my grave STILL thinking the best of these people. And making sure they step up to the next level in their lives.
I’m not perfect at it, but I value this so much that I’m dedicated to improve those relationships. And dedicated to improve my ABILITY and WILLINGNESS to have them.
Now, is there a SECRET formula to build those kinds of relationships?
I don’t think so. It’s the old old “get to know someone”. When you’re on a journey of making new friends. Some of them will seem a little bit more trustworthy than others.
Some people, you can guess they’ll understand you, your troubles and aspirations.
So THEN, what do you do?
Gradually get to know them : 1. Hang out, 2. Joke around, 3. Reveal as much as you currently can about yourself, 4. Try to take a trip with them.
Figure out if they care : 1. Are they interested in what you say? 2. Do they try to provide solutions to the small issues you have? 3.Do they try to lift your spirit up when you feel down?
If they care about you then HOLD and VALUE those relationships. They’re maybe the most valuable and rewarding you can have.
A lil TIP : Don’t talk about troubles,.. too much. Negativity can just turn off these people and make it a lil exhausting to be with you.
Be as positive as possible.
Voila! Thought I’d share this. Such a deep subject that I’m still discovering.
Enjoy it. I hope you find a lot of people that you can trust and share your life with. I’m confident that you can.
Talk to you soon