If you want a stranger to eventually become your friend, then you will need to find things in common with them. The best of friends have started because of just one little thing in common. In fact, most of the friends you already have now started out in the first place because you had something in common with them. If you want to build new friendships moving forward, you need to seek out that common ground.
Finding something in common may have happened to you in the past without you even knowing it, but there are things you can also do to actively seek this out. Here are the things you can do to find things in common with anyone.
Talk about your interests
One of the best things you can do to find someone who has things in common with you is to actually talk about your interests. Be open about the things you enjoy. If the people around you know about your interests, you might come across someone who also secretly enjoys the things you do. At one point, they’ll then go up to you to talk about your shared interests.
Take note that you don’t need to talk about your interests every chance you get. You can simply bring it up when the opportunity to talk about it arises. You can talk about it in passing at least once or twice, and most of your friends, co-workers, and other peers will remember that already.
Seek out opportunities to socialize
Whenever there’s an opportunity to head outside and socialize, take that chance more often than not. Be excited about the idea of socializing. Wherever it is you’re heading, whether with friends or loose associates, there is a very high chance you’re going to find someone there who has things in common with you. It’s funny how massive the world is, yet how small it can feel at times.
You may even get the chance to know associates who actually enjoy a lot of the same things you do. Befriending those people are way easier since you’re already somewhat acclimated. In fact, if said associates are co-workers, you may have more things in common with them than you realize. If you’re working in the same field, there’s a very good chance you share other interests as well.
Join groups and clubs
What better way to meet like-minded people than to actually join clubs and groups for the things you’re interested in. Depending on where you live and what your interests are, finding a group for your interest can be very easy, or close to impossible. You can join communities for something broad, and then ask around for a specific group for a specific activity. You can also look it up online to make things easier for you.
Once you find a club and join one, then the hardest part is over. The next step is to simply socialize and share the things you know about your interests while also listening to others as well. What you can just do then is to find someone you can really connect with.
Have deep, meaningful conversations
You will never find things in common with anyone if the conversations you have with everybody are too casual and short-lived. That said, engage with the people you meet in conversation. Be curious about them. Talk to them like you would a close friend. Get to know them. Who knows what you will learn about the people around you.
Conversations are very powerful in a social setting. They can turn strangers to the closest of friends in a matter of days, or even hours depending on the chemistry. If you have more deep and meaningful conversations with other people, you’re going to find out about other people’s interests. You will then encounter people who have things in common with you.
In your journey to find people with things in common with you, you’re also going to meet a lot of people who don’t share your same beliefs, opinions, and ideas. In light of this, it is important that you keep an open mind wherever you go and whoever you meet. Not only will this save you a ton of disappointments, arguments, and headaches, it will also make you kinder, more approachable, and happier as an individual overall.
Have an approachable aura
Aside from being open-minded, take note of other things that can help you be more approachable. One of the things you can do is to always appear presentable. Practice good hygiene, be mindful of your style, always be well-groomed, and smile as often as you can.
Those around you who know they have things in common with you will be discouraged to go up to you if you don’t have an approachable aura. You’re looking for people who have things in common with you so you can expand your social circle. You’ll have a hard time doing so if you don’t seem approachable.
Be friendly to everyone you meet
On top of being approachable, you also need to be friendly with everyone you meet. No matter where you are or who you’re going to encounter, always be friendly.
Whenever you go to a coffee shop, be nice to the person at the counter. Smile at people who cross your gaze. Greet people when you can by saying “good morning” or “how are you” when you cross paths with them. You’ll meet and befriend so many more people by being this type of individual. At one point, you’re going to come across someone who has things in common with you just by being friendly.
Have a social media presence
Social media can bring a lot of negative impacts to so many people. However, as long as it’s used effectively, this can also bring so many good things for you. If you want to meet people who have things in common with you, have a social media presence and make sure your interests are visible there.
Your online friends will start to see and notice your interests and some of those who share your interests will get in touch with you. This tactic is fairly simple yet very effective.
Avoid being too self-centered
While it will serve you well to talk about yourself from time to time so you can meet people who have things in common with you, make sure you don’t cross the line of being too self-centered.
Maintain the balance of being open about yourself and being mindful of others as well. Don’t let this be all about you. You’re doing this for the sake of finding new friends, of course, but friendships go two ways. If you’re too self-centered, you’ll never fully care about the person you’re trying to befriend, whether or not you have things in common with them.
Visit places associated with your interest
Another thing you can do to find someone who has things in common with you is to visit places associated with your interest. For example, if you enjoy classical art, visit museums. If you enjoy jazz music, go to jazz clubs. You get the idea.
Aside from joining clubs, this is one of the easiest and most common ways people do to meet like-minded people. Do the same thing and you’ll be able to find a person who has things in common with you in no time.
Set proper expectations
Finally, it is important to manage your expectations. Even though this task can be relatively easy, granted you know where to look, that still doesn’t guarantee you’re going to find somebody on your first few tries.
Another thing, just because you find someone who has things in common with you, that doesn’t automatically mean you can be friends with them. So many more things come into play other than common interests when it comes to friendships. There also has to be chemistry and mutual agreement. You can enjoy the same things with another person but can’t connect with them because of another disagreement.
Manage your expectations and never falter. Things will happen for you, in time and with dedication.
What To Do Once You Find Someone With Things In Common With You
Once you finally find someone who has things in common with you, first of all, congratulations! You’ve completed the first step. That’s right, finding someone with things in common with you is only the first step. There are still things you need to do, otherwise finding that individual will all be for nothing.
After finding someone with things in common with you, you must then attempt to actually have a connection with them. You must finally befriend them, otherwise, all of this is for nothing. Although befriending someone is a complex process, for now, just take note of the following tips below on how to befriend someone who has things in common with you.
Take it easy
As exciting as the notion of finally meeting someone with things in common with you is, especially if this is something you’ve been wanting to do for a while, it is important that you take things easy. You can’t and shouldn’t try to be best friends with them immediately. These things can take time, after all.
For now, just be happy with the fact that you’ve met someone with things in common with you. There’s no need to take things faster than they should be.
Learn more about them
Aside from the things you have in common, if you want somebody to be your friend, you’ll need to know about the other aspects of their life as well. That said, learn more about them. Ask them questions about their personal life, their other interests, their future goals. The more you know someone, and the more they know about you, the easier it is for a friendship to arise.
Just like all types of friendships, this process can take a lot of time or they can happen relatively quickly, but the important thing is that it happens organically.
Seek out ways to hang out with them more often
If you’re to know more about someone, then you’ll need to hang out with them as often as you can. That said, seek out ways to hang out with them more often and outside of where you two usually meet.
For example, if the person is a co-worker or a person you met at a group for your interest, ask them out for a drink sometime after work or after sessions. That’s where you two can really know more about each other.
Don’t let your friendship be tied to the one thing you have in common
Even though you have things in common with a particular person, that won’t and shouldn’t be the only thing that ties your friendship together. Otherwise, you’ll simply be casual acquaintances instead of being friends.
This is why it’s very important that you also know other things about that person aside from the one thing you have in common. Who knows, you may share other interests as well. Other than that, know what their other interests are and be interested to know more about it. On the other hand, also let them know what your other interests are.
Nourish that friendship
Finally, you must then treat that friendship like you would any other. Shower it with nourishment. Treat it well. A friend is a friend regardless of the things you have in common and your differences.
Once you’re at a point where you’re thinking about the nourishment of the friendship, you’ve pretty much succeeded at your task. You’ve found someone with things in common with you and you’re at a point where you’re already friends with them. The only thing to remember now is to make sure that friendship stays alive.
Making friends is not an easy task. However, if you try to befriend someone who has things in common with you, you may just make that task easier. Read these other articles for tips on how to make friends. For now, good luck with finding someone who has things in common with. It may take a while, but it’s going to be a whole lot of fun too.