If you feel disconnected from your friends, this article is perfect for you. This is a circumstance a lot of people have experienced. It can be incredibly difficult, uneasy, and outright painful to be in this scenario. The one good thing that can come out of this situation is the fact that you can actually do something about it and learn something along the way.
In this article, we will discuss why you feel disconnected from your friends and the things you can do to finally reconnect with them once again.
Why You Feel Disconnected From Friends
If you do feel disconnected from your friends, there are things you first need to know so you can finally do something about it. Understanding these things will reinforce the idea of reconnecting with them later on. Remember that not everybody has the privilege of having friends. That said, here are some of the reasons why you feel disconnected from your friends.
It’s been a while since you’ve hung out with them
If it’s been a while since you’ve hung out with your friends, this may be a very good and sensible reason as to why you feel disconnected from them. You may have been away from them for whatever reason. All the while, they’ve continued going out together without you.
They’ve taken new interests without you
Because your friends spend a lot of time together and you’re not there, they’ve begun taking on new interests that are unfamiliar to you. This interest can be anything. It can be an extracurricular activity or something as simple as a movie genre. Whatever the case, they’ve taken on this new interest without you and that made you feel disconnected from them.
You’ve spoken to more people online than you have in person
Over the past couple of months, you’ve spoken to more people online than in person, including your friends. A lot of this can be attributed to the pandemic, but even when things started to slowly return to normal, you’ve never really bothered going out yet. You feel disconnected from your friends because of this.
You can’t relate to some of their inside jokes anymore
Whenever you do hang out with your friends, you notice that they already have a bunch of inside jokes you can’t relate to anymore. They laugh and laugh, while you’re just left there sitting, staring out into the abyss.
You’ve started to keep secrets from them
If you used to be open with your friends but are starting to keep secrets from them now, this can lead to you feeling more disconnected from them. Although you began starting to keep secrets from them because you feel disconnected in the first place, doing so is just strengthening this emotion.
They begin to make plans without telling you
Every once in a while, your friends make plans and forget to tell you. This may be because they’ve asked you to join them a couple of times in the past and you’ve either said no to them constantly or showed blatant disinterest. Whenever your friends do this, it makes you feel awful and more disconnected from them.
You haven’t bothered reconnecting with them before
You’ve felt disconnected from your friends for a while, but you’ve never really bothered doing anything about it. You’ve accepted this fact wholeheartedly despite how much you actually hate it. Because you’ve avoided doing anything about it, you feel more and more disconnected from them. In reality, there are actually things you can do to mend the failing connection you have with them.
How To Reconnect If You’re Disconnected From Friends
Now that you know what the possible reasons are for you feeling disconnected from your friends, it’s now time for you to acknowledge that there are indeed things you can do to make things better. That said, here are ways for you to reconnect with your friends.
Communicate properly
The most important thing you need to remember when it comes to friendships is that communication is something you always need to consider. If there’s something you’re feeling inside, communicate it with your friends. You’ll never be able to reach an understanding if they don’t know what you’re feeling in the first place.
That said, the first thing you need to do is to let your friends know you wish to reconnect with them. Let them know you’re starting to feel disconnected from them and that you want to do something about it. Your friends will appreciate your acknowledgment if you do this.
Apologize, if you need to
If no need to, be sure to say your apologies. If your friendship with them fell out because of something you did, apologize. Maybe they’ve asked you out multiple times in the past but you kept saying no, and that’s why you’re slowly but surely becoming disconnected from them.
If this is the case for you, one of the first things you need to do to get things right is to acknowledge your mistakes and apologize. An apology will go a long way. A lot of people forget that, sometimes, an apology is all it takes to mend a failing friendship. Don’t allow this to happen to you.
Make it a habit to talk to them from time to time
Since your goal is to reconnect with your friends, then you must actually start to talk to them again from time to time. You can’t just want something and not do anything about it. If you want to reconnect, actively do so by simply talking to them whenever you have the chance.
Something as simple as this is more than enough to reconnect with a friend. Communication is very important, after all. Take the time to talk to them via chat, text, or call, if you can’t see them in person at all.
Initiate the reconnection by asking them out
Aside from talking to them from time to time, take it to the next level and actually ask them out when you can. Take them to their favorite bar or restaurant. Go see a movie with them. You can also just invite them over so you can interact in a more quiet and comfortable place.
Wherever it is you and your friend decide to go, the important thing here is that you’re initiating the reconnection by asking them out.
Know why you’re doing this
One thing that can help you actually get through this is to constantly remind yourself why you’re doing this. Why reconnect with old friends if you can just make new ones? Well, friendships are valuable things. They’re not just toys you can throw away and replace after you get tired of them. Your friends are people who feel and care for you. You can’t just replace friends because you actually want those friends to still be in your life. You miss the times you used to spend with them.
Remind yourself of these things. Use them as motivation. You want to reconnect with your friends because you miss them. This is a very simple, yet very powerful reason to keep you going.
Make the effort to understand their new interests
One thing you can do to reconnect if you feel disconnected from friends is to take the time to understand their new interests. Learn what they are and see if they’re also things you can be interested in. Be open-minded during this because you may need to actually dip your toes in that particular interest if you really want to reconnect with your friends.
Chances are, these interests will interest you as well. They’ve been taken by people you consider friends, after all. If the interest is really not to your liking, then at least take the time to understand what it is. This alone will make your friends realize your intent to actually reconnect with them.
Pay attention to the other changes
Aside from new interests, pay attention to other changes as well. It can be something as simple as a drink preference. If your friend used to always drink coffee in the morning but they recently shifted to drinking tea instead, this is a change you need to keep in mind.
You can ask your friends about this outright, of course, but it’s much better if you do this yourself. Remain observant and attentive. You can simply confirm by asking. You can then adjust accordingly moving forward. Your friend will appreciate your willingness to adjust to their changes.
Do the things you used to do with them
If there are things you used to do with your friend before you started feeling disconnected from them, start doing those things again. Nostalgia is one powerful mental influencer. Doing this will also make you and your friend realize just how close you used to be and what a shame it would be to throw that friendship away.
Those who are disconnected from friends feel this way because they stopped doing the things they used to do with their friends. Deal with this easily by simply doing the things you used to do.
Be genuine
Be genuine throughout all of this and your friend will be able to see right through that. If your friend believes you’re really genuine in your efforts to reconnect with them, they’ll be more than willing to reconnect with you as well.
This can go hand in hand with reminding yourself why you’re doing all of this in the first place. These two bits of advice are the most natural here, but they’re also the most useful. Constantly remind yourself why you’re doing this after you started feeling disconnected from friends and be genuine in your efforts. You’ll eventually mend the things that are broken by just doing these two. However, you can get there much faster and much more effectively if you keep in mind the other tips here as well.
Pay attention to their wants and needs over yours
Since as of now, you’re the one initiating the reconnection, it will serve you well to put the needs and wants of your friend over your own. For example, while discussing a dinner destination, go for their options instead of yours. Let them decide and let yourself ride along their waves.
Not only is this a good way of reconnecting with a friend, but this will also allow you to see their current preferences. You can then take this information in and remember it moving forward.
Ask them if there’s anything about you they find unseemly
In the spirit of keeping open communication, you should also ask your friend if there’s anything about you they find unseemly. This means things about you they think are inappropriate, offensive, hurtful, and anything similar. Let them know you’re trying to be a better friend so you can reconnect with them.
Take note that when you ask this, you should welcome all the criticisms you’re going to receive. Don’t take them personally and definitely do not try to be defensive. Instead, learn from them and use them to actually be a better friend, if there are things you used to do in the past that have hurt the people around you. This is what this advice is for.
Let them know and feel you appreciate them
Finally, one of the best things you can do if you feel disconnected from friends and you want to reconnect with them is to let them know and feel you appreciate them.
Before you actually do this, put this into your mind first. Put into your mind that you appreciate your friends for all that they’ve done to you in the past. Once this is carved into your mind, you can then begin acting on it. Be nice to your friends. Be considerate when it comes to them. Hang out with them when you can. Celebrate with them on their good days and grieve with them when times are rough.
You can ultimately reconnect with a friend by simply being their friend, and a friend should make it known that they appreciate them.
The feeling of being disconnected from friends is outright awful. You can stop feeling this negative emotion by doing something about it right now after you finish reading this article. Be sure to keep in mind everything you’ve just read here. Treat your friends well moving forward.