If you can’t relate to people, then you have a problem that’s pretty common amongst socially inept people. Finding a common ground and being surrounded by like-minded individuals is something most socially adept people seek out. If you want to help yourself become more socially active, have more solid friendships, and have an overall healthier social life, this is a problem you will need to solve.
It’s a tough problem, but with time, patience, and persistence, it can indeed be solved. With that said, if you can’t relate to people, here are certain things you can do to relate with others better, be more surrounded with like-minded people, and connect with others much easier.
Stop expecting the worst
If you keep expecting the worst to happen, it will greatly affect the way you react. You’ll be pessimistic and you’ll be gloomy all the time instead of having fun. This will stop you from ever forming connections with people and being able to relate to them.
That said, stop expecting the worst. Sometimes bad things do happen, but sometimes great things can happen too. What you can do is to do your best so those great things will happen. You can’t do that by being pessimistic. You most especially can’t be pessimistic if your goal is to relate to people.
Keep a positive mindset from here on out. Don’t expect good things to happen but actively do things to make them happen. See the good in people. It’ll be easier to relate to them that way.
Join clubs and groups
One of the best ways to relate to other people is to join groups or clubs that are intended for one of your interests. It is here you will highly likely find like-minded people, people you can relate to the most.
That said, seek out these groups. You’re sure to find one located in your city. Whatever that interest is, there’s bound to be a group for that interest in your area. If not, be sure to scour online for the nearest one.
Speak up about your interests
You can also begin speaking up about your interests. There might be people around you who enjoy that interest too. These people will then be the ones who’ll seek you out eventually. At the very least, you’re making your interests known and opening yourself up to those you might be able to relate to.
Be more open overall
Aside from speaking about your interests, you can also simply be more open as a whole. Don’t be the type of person who’s brooding and mysterious. If you’re this type of person, perhaps that’s why you can’t relate to people. Some people may find mysterious people intriguing, but they ultimately aren’t able to relate with them.
Start opening up about your life. Tell stories about your experiences. Aside from talking about your interests, talk about the things that don’t interest you as well. When people ask, don’t be ashamed to talk about yourself. It’s good to open up as this will allow people to find something in you they can relate to, thus allowing you to relate to them as a reciprocate.
Be more approachable
Being approachable is something you’ll want to start doing if you can’t relate to people. If you believe you’re not this type of person yet, it’s really not at all that complicated.
To be approachable, one must simply have the appeal of being friendly and respectable. You need to be someone people will want to go up to. You can do this by being presentable, exhibiting positive body language, being kind and friendly, and most of all, being polite.
From here on out, start working on being approachable. Make sure everyone around you will feel comfortable being with you. Greet people you meet. Be neat and tidy. Always wear a smile. Start doing it to the point you get used to doing them without even thinking about it. You should be able to relate to people in no time just by doing this.
Strive harder to work on your goals
Everyone appreciates someone who strives hard to work on their goals. In fact, a lot of people nowadays are doing exactly that right now. That said, be this kind of person and you’ll find a lot of people you can relate to.
In our day and age where progress is constant and hustle culture is rampant, being hardworking and dream-driven are characteristics that are to be admired. You don’t need to be the most successful person in the group to be admired, you just need to strive to be the best you can be. People will admire you for it and will want to get to know you better.
Aside from this benefit, it will also be very good for your personal life. The career and social aspects of your life can go hand-in-hand, after all.
Go out more
You can’t relate to people if you spend most of your time holed up at home. Take the time to go out as often as you can. Meet your friends as often as you can. Interact with more strangers whenever you can. That way, you’ll get to know more people and you’ll have a higher chance of meeting ones you can relate to.
You don’t have to go out every single day. You can simply go out when you’re free or when there’s nothing else to do. If you have the energy left after a day at work and your colleagues invite you out, go with them. You can spare time to socialize on the weekend, do so.
If you’re the type of person who prefers to stay at home, be sure to reward yourself every once in a while by spending a whole weekend by yourself, or something along those lines. It’ll be useless to go out if you don’t have the energy and the willingness for it. Energize if you need to, then go back out again when you can.
Don’t be ashamed of your flaws
Everybody has flaws. There’s no need for you to hide yours. As long as your flaws aren’t behavioral that actively harm and hurt others, you shouldn’t be embarrassed by your flaws. They’re a part of you. Embrace them.
If there are aspects about yourself that you highly dislike and can do something about, of course, you’re at liberty to change them. However, never feel ashamed of them. Chances are, a lot of people feel the same way as you. People can relate to you because you are not flawless, just the same as they are.
Seek out new interests
You can expand your horizon and have the chance to meet more people you can relate to by seeking out new interests. If there’s a particular field or activity you’ve always wanted to get into but never had the time to do so, now’s the perfect time to start.
Once you find a new interest you can dive into, find people who are also into that activity or are already very knowledgeable about them. They can then begin as your mentor figure, and you’ll eventually work your way to knowing more about each other. Do this with anyone you meet. Find something about them you can relate to aside from your newfound interest.
Talk to your friends about it
If you already have people in your circle you consider friends, ask for their assistance. They’ll be more than happy to help you out if you let them know about your predicament. Tell them you can’t relate to people, or at least find it incredibly difficult to do so, and ask them for advice. Ask them how they’re able to relate to people, or how they were able to relate to you when you first met.
Having friends in your life is a beautiful blessing. Be sure to take advantage of this wonderful opportunity. Ask for their help and be sure to let them know and feel how thankful you are they’re there for you.
Practice your conversation skills
You can’t relate to people if you can’t communicate with them properly. Having said that, make sure you polish your conversation skills as often as you can.
In social interactions, there’s a sense of simplicity yet acuteness you need to keep in mind when it comes to conversing with people. You need to be able to catch their attention while also being able to listen to them attentively. You need to be able to make engaging, long conversations as well as meaningful small talk. You’ll need to have empathy and sympathy. You’ll need to be able to speak to an individual as well as in front of a whole group.
Take the time to read the other articles on this site on how you can improve your conversational skills. It will greatly help you out as you try to relate to the people you meet.
Be more open-minded
Being open-minded is another key factor that will help you if you can’t relate to people. You’ll inevitably meet individuals who may not be like you from the surface, or from the way they speak out their beliefs and opinions, but may have a few things in common with you deep inside. To relate to these people, you’ll need to be more open-minded.
Listen to others speak up and understand why they believe the things they believe. You don’t necessarily have to change your views to agree with them, but you can engage them in a healthy discussion. If by the end, the best outcome is that you both agree to disagree, that’s completely fine. At least you both are respectful enough to let the other person’s beliefs be. This is then when you can begin to get to know them as a person outside of your opposing beliefs and find something you can relate to from them.
Get to know yourself better
This is a very simple tip, but it’s one that will serve you well. Get to know yourself better and you’ll be surprised how easily you’ll be able to relate to people moving forward.
What this means is that familiarize yourself with the things that bring you joy and the things that tick you off. Pinpoint what they are exactly. Know what makes you happy. Know what brings down your mood. The moment you can say out loud what those things exactly are, the better you’ll be at relating to people.
The person that knows you best is you, but sometimes people have things that drive them but they don’t know exactly what they are. They’re there subconsciously, but they can’t pinpoint what those things are. You need to be able to do this if you can’t relate to people. It will help you build a connection with others easier.
Don’t force a connection
No matter what you do and how hard you try, you will always meet individuals you just can’t relate to. This is perfectly normal. What you shouldn’t do is to force yourself to relate to these people. You’ll only be banging your head against the wall by doing so, which will only frustrate and disappoint you.
Instead, focus on those you know you can relate to. At least, as of the moment. Once you’re skilled enough socially, you can try your hand on the tougher individuals. For now, make things easier for yourself. There are a lot of people out there you can easily relate to. Don’t actively seek out those who are so different from you.
Understand the troubles of others
Aside from getting to know another person’s interests to get to know them better and relate to them, understand their troubles as well. Sometimes you can know a person more from their troubles than from the things that make them happy.
This is very personal, of course, so be sure to tread lightly. Don’t force a person to share their troubles. Wait for them to share it themselves. Once they become comfortable with you enough, they’ll confide with you.
When this happens, make sure to not only listen but to actually understand. Know the root of their problems and how exactly it’s making them feel. Be there for them. Be a friend. If they have troubles you can relate to, let them know and tell them how you deal with them. Be helpful and realistic. They’ll highly appreciate it and they’ll be able to relate with you in the process.
Be better at socializing
Finally, the best way to relate to people is to be better at socializing. Your social life is something you need to actively take care of, the same way you take care of your physical and mental health. You can do that by seeking out social skills, employing them, and improving upon them.
For that, you can use the other articles on this site as reading materials. Be sure to take the time to read as many articles as you can so that you can be well-equipped the next time you go out to meet people. Be as socially adept as you can be and you’ll be able to relate to people easily. Good luck!