If you can be yourself around others, socializing will become more natural for you. After all, it’s exhausting keeping up with false appearances and wearing the face of another all the time. On top of that, if you’re able to be yourself around others, you’ll never have to think about other personalities when interacting with people. You can be confident in your own skin and portray to them your real personality.
A lot of people find being themselves a difficult task, unfortunately. If you happen to be one of those people, this article will greatly help you out.
Before you can learn how to be yourself, it can help you to fully understand what it means to be yourself. We’ll start with that.
What Does It Mean To Be Yourself?
First of all, to be yourself means just that. Be yourself. Use your own personality when interacting with others. Let them see you for who you truly are.
However, if your goal is to socialize and become a more socially adept person, being yourself also means improving yourself.
It’s a given that a lot of us have misgivings and flaws. This is perfectly normal. However, if you have character traits which make you terrible, hurtful, offensive, and the like, you’ll need to give yourself a personality overhaul.
This doesn’t mean you’re attempting to be someone else, this simply means you’re attempting to better who you already are. You’re still being yourself, but you’re just removing some of your worst traits.
Pretending to be someone means that’s not who you really are. At the end of the day, you’ll still revert to your real self. However, if you can change who you are for the better, then that’s you through and through. Pretending won’t be necessary, you’ll just act as you are with your newly acquired traits.
It’s good for us to say and believe that we should be ourselves, and if others can’t accept us for who we are, we probably shouldn’t be friends with them. However, it’s also good to acknowledge that we may have traits we can consider terrible. You’ll need to let go of those terrible traits. It will make being yourself infinitely easier. Plus, others will find it easier being around you!
How Can You Improve Yourself?
The first thing you’ll need to do to improve yourself is to acknowledge what your flaws are. If you have traits you know others won’t like at all, acknowledge that and change it.
For example, if you tend to make inappropriate jokes, especially during the most inappropriate moments, change that immediately. If you’re someone who finds it hard to focus on another person during conversations, make the effort to change that.
In the most extreme cases, if you believe your personality is outright terrible and people find you a bad person, start from there and improve yourself. This is a very difficult thing to admit, but as long as you’re able to acknowledge that and take this first step, you’re already on the right track.
Another thing you should keep in mind throughout this process is to make sure you don’t end up hating yourself. This is a trap you can fall easily into, the more you look deeper into your flaws and imperfections. If you’ve done terrible things, learn to forgive yourself. Then, make the effort to become a better version of yourself.
Knowing which aspects to change
One last thing, you should also know how to differentiate which of the things about yourself you should change and which you shouldn’t. There are a lot of aspects about us we may think are flaws, but really, they’re harmless parts that make us who we are.
For example, a lot of introverts believe their introversion is something to be frowned upon. This shouldn’t be the case at all. Being an introvert is not a problem. What is a problem, however, is if you make this an excuse to avoid socializing. A lot of socially adept people are actually introverts. They just know how to balance spending time alone and spending time with others.
Another example of something people mistakenly perceives as a flaw is being nervous in public. This isn’t a flaw at all. This is a perfectly normal human response to an intimidating situation. What matters here is how you rise about that nervousness and how you correctly pinpoint which situations it’s okay to be nervous and which you shouldn’t be at all.
The point here is that you should know which parts of yourself you should change for the better, and which you should learn how to accept.
Once you’re able to do all these, you should be able to be yourself around others more comfortably. You’ll be happy with who you are. You’ll know others will be happy to get to know the real you. However, there’s still work to be done. You’ll still need to fight things including social anxieties, doubts, and more.
How To Be Yourself Around Others
Once you’ve learned to better yourself, the next step follows. Read on and we’ll get to how you can be yourself around others and do it very naturally.
Stop thinking too much about it
One of the worst things you can do if your goal is to be yourself around others is to think too much about it. If you’re constantly worrying about being yourself, the part of you that’s worrying will show. Other people will easily see this because you’ll start acting aloof and weird. You won’t be yourself around others, you’ll simply be a stranger version of yourself.
That said, stop worrying about how you’re going to act. After all, if you’re simply being yourself, you won’t even need to think about it at all. That’s what you’ll need to keep in mind before you go out there to meet new people.
You’ll learn more ways to be yourself around others as you read along this article. For now, though, remember this very first one. Stop worrying too much about it. This will give your mind more space to think about the more important things.
Work on your insecurities
One of your worst enemies that will interfere with you being yourself around others is your insecurities, if you have any. If this case is true for you, that’s what you’ll need to fix first.
An insecure mind is a dangerous one. No matter how much you better yourself, no matter how many negative traits you remove, if your mind remains insecure, it will always find something wrong to focus on.
That said, actively work on fixing your insecurities. Combat your negative thoughts with positive ones. Tell yourself you’re not bad as your insecurities are making you out to be. An insecure mind will paint a picture of you that’s more horrible than the truth. Focus on the truth. Paint a better picture.
Practice being yourself around acquaintances
If this is something you’re not used to yet, it can be difficult to be yourself around others if you don’t know them yet. To make matters easier for yourself, practice around acquaintances. Practice around people who you can’t really consider friends yet, but you know them well enough that it’s not too uncomfortable to be yourself around them.
Whenever you have the opportunity to interact with acquaintances, do so. Then, be yourself around them. Who knows, just by performing this practice, you might even turn a few acquaintances into actual friends. You’ll be reaching your goal just by practicing.
Love your strengths
Now that you’ve worked on fixing your flaws and misgivings, now it’s time for you to acknowledge your strengths. Know what they are and love yourself for them. Then, use them to your advantage as you interact with other people.
For example, if you’ve always heard that you’re a good listener, then appreciate yourself for that. Not everyone is naturally good at this. If you’re someone who’s naturally funny, use that to your advantage.
Whatever it is for you, be sure to acknowledge it. Your self-esteem will thank you for it. As long as you can keep your self-esteem high and healthy, being yourself around others becomes easier.
Forget all of your past personas
If there were personas in the past you’ve always turned to, now is the time to forget about them. After all, there’s no need for them anymore.
If you hold on to the facades and fake personalities you used to employ around other people, you might simply revert to them if you find being yourself isn’t working while you’re socializing. Let go of this need completely. The best thing for you to do while socializing is to be yourself.
Sometimes, socializing this way can take a while. Sometimes, it can happen right away. What is constant is that it’s much better to socialize with others if you remain yourself rather than attempting to be someone else.
Focus on every interaction
Here’s one trick you can do so you can always be yourself around others and avoid overthinking other menial things. Whenever you’re conversing with someone, or interacting with them in any way, focus on them. Focus on their words and their actions. Negative thoughts and the like will never be able to penetrate your mind if you keep your focus on others.
Doing this will also help you have more nuanced interactions. If you can keep your focus on the other person, you can respond and react to them properly.
Learn how to speak up
Another thing you can do to help you be yourself around others better is to learn how to speak up. A combination of showing through actions and words is key here. It will also make you feel more comfortable around other people if you can share them your thoughts and opinions.
This process is a whole other thing if you find it hard to speak your mind. However, with practice, repetition, and willingness.
That said, take advantage of any opportunity you have to speak up. Be sure to participate whenever there are discussions. If someone asks you questions about yourself, feel free to give them straight answers.
Get used to the idea of speaking up. You’ll need it moving forward. In addition, it will help you become more active socially.
Have a confident body language
Stand like a confident person and you’ll eventually become one. One of the best ways to be yourself is to be confident. Confidence is a trait not a lot of people naturally have, however. If you’re not naturally confident, the good thing is that you can learn this trait.
First things first, though, make sure your body language is portraying confidence. It will also help others feel more comfortable with you. They’ll see you as someone who’s comfortable being around them.
Stand up straight, but avoid stiffing up. Avoid exhibiting closed-off body language such as crossing your arms, crouching, and staring at the ground. From now on, maintain eye contact when speaking to someone.
Do your best so that your body is evoking the body language of a confident person. The more you do this, the more confident you will actually be when socializing with others. Then, you can be yourself with ease.
Be more honest
Honesty is a good policy to have if you want to be yourself. Similar to how you’ll never have to worry about which persona to take if you can be yourself, you’ll never have to worry about your words if you’re honest.
Be more honest from here on out. People appreciate an honest person who tells them unseemly things than a liar who says flowery words. Granted, you should still avoid being needlessly hurtful and offensive. Be honest but be careful and thoughtful of your words.
Manage your expectations
It is also very important that you keep your expectations straight as you interact with other people. You’ll need to keep in mind that despite being yourself around others, there are those who won’t pay you the same respect.
This isn’t to turn you cynical, this is simply to let you know that there are those who won’t agree with your real self. Of course, there are still those who will. That’s where you’ll need to focus on.
Focus on the good side of socializing. Focus on the idea of making friends and building bonds. While keeping all of these in mind, you should also remember that you might also meet people you can’t agree with. Don’t be disappointed when this happens. Simply move on and socialize with the next person.
Be better at your interests and hobbies
If you have hobbies and interests, be sure to hone them. Be better at the things you enjoy doing.
Making this happen will make you appreciate yourself more. It will make you love the things you do more, and it will make you love yourself for having these things in your life.
This will also help you with another tip that will come later on.
Be more focused on your life and career
Aside from your hobbies and interests, you should also pay mind to your career. If you’re a student, do well in your classes. Be good personally, and also professionally. Excel at your craft and do your best to achieve your goals.
Being professionally successful is another thing that will greatly increase your self-esteem. Thus, it will make you become more confident in your own skin.
Aside from the clear benefits this will bring to your social life, your professional and personal lives will also thank you.
Take up physical activities
Taking up any form of physical activity will help you become even more confident in yourself. Any physical activity will do, as long as it makes you exert energy and become physically healthier.
You can go to the gym. You can take up running. If those things aren’t cutting it out for you, you can take up yoga. Do whatever you need to do to become physically healthier. You’ll look better, and more importantly, you’ll feel better. Once this happens, being yourself around others becomes a natural matter.
Surround yourself with like-minded individuals
One of the best things you can do for yourself if you want to be yourself around others is to find like-minded individuals. If you surround yourself with people who share your interests, beliefs, and the like, you’ll never feel the need to pretend to be someone else. You’ll feel right at home.
If you’re good, skilled, and knowledgeable at your interests and hobbies, as mentioned earlier, this process becomes easier. You’ll also draw like-minded people to you. You’ll be seen as a figure they can learn from.
To find more like-minded people, join clubs and classes. Start talking about your interests even more. Introduce others to your interests. There are a lot of things you can do to find like-minded people, do as many of them as you can.
Wear clothes that make you feel better
This is a minor thing that you can remember moving forward, but it will affect you in a great way. Similar to how being physically healthier makes you feel better, your choice of outfits will do the same thing. Wear clothes that make you feel better. It will help you become more comfortable around others. Thus, it will help you be yourself around others better.
If fashion is not your area of expertise, try seeking out the help of your friends or relatives. Ask for professional advice. You might just enjoy this whole process.
Avoid going to places you’re uncomfortable with
You’ll do much better at socializing if you remain in places you actually feel comfortable. If you keep going to places that just aren’t for you, you’ll always feel guarded. You’ll be intimidated. Worse, you won’t be able to socialize properly at all.
Since you’ll be feeling all these negative feelings, you also won’t be able to be yourself. You’ll be too worried and afraid that you might resort to pretending once more. Make things better for yourself by only going to places you feel comfortable with. There’s no need to put yourself in this terrible position.
Ask for help
If things become too tough for you, remember that you don’t need to go through this trouble alone. Ask help from those you trust. Ask for help from your friends and family. Tell them that you’re trying to be better at socializing.
If the situation is much worse for you, you can also seek out professional help. If the problem lingers in your mind and there’s nothing you can do that will help, see a professional instead. There are things only they can tell you, things that are best suited for your current predicaments and situation. Be sure to waste no time in doing so.
Improve Your Social Skills To Be Yourself Around Others
The best thing you can do to be yourself around others is to improve your social skills. Be more socially adept. Make that your ultimate goal and everything else will follow.
There are a lot of factors that come with being yourself. You might have already surmised that for you to be yourself properly, you’ll need traits such as confidence. You’ll need to be good at interactions. On top of these, you’ll also need to be good at conversations. You’ll need to master the art of conversation as a whole. This covers a lot of ground such as listening, telling stories, making small talk, and making meaningful discussions.
You’ll also need to deal with any form of social anxiety. This topic is a whole other area you’ll need to deal with.
If you’re an introvert, you’ll need to learn how to socialize while being an introvert.
Thankfully, you can find everything you need on this site. As soon as you’re done reading this article, take the time to read the other articles on this site. From conversation skills to the art of making friends, you’ll find a resource you can study. In time, you’ll finally be able to be yourself around others. Good luck!