Social Skills and Making Friends News – Edition #5
Welcome to edition #5 of our new series, where we share with you the latest resources we’ve found on social skills, making friends, and more. In this edition, we’ll talk about some surprising habits that might be making you a bad friend, how Facebook friendships impact your health, and show you how fitness and happy hour mix for making new friends. Don’t forget to subscribe to the newsletter so you don’t miss any future editions!
Are These Bad Habits Pushing your Friends Away?
While no one intentionally sets out to be a bad friend, this article on Bustle.com reveals 11 bad habits that can sabotage your friendships. You may be doing some of these inadvertently, but the good news is that you can change these habits with a little self-reflection and honesty.
These examples are a good indicator that your behavior may be pushing your friends away. I also recommend you check out our article on how to screw up a friendship.
I could summarize how you should treat your friends with the old saying… “Treat people like you wish to be treated.” That’s not very specific, though, so you actually need to make sure you’re handling your friendships well, every step of the way.
Let’s face it: it’s easier to lose a friend after only a few weeks of friendship. But the real loss is when it happens after a few years. That’s why you need to really have the skills of keeping the right friends and strengthening the relationship you have with them.
You actually want to be generous, but not too much. You want to give, but also get something from the friendship. Keeping that balance is the skill you need to keep great people in your life.
How Your Facebook Friendships Can Impact Your Health and Longevity
People who have stronger social networks live longer, but can we say the same about online social networks? NYMag.com talks about a recent study comparing 12 million Facebook users to nonusers to explore how online social interactions—reflecting both online and offline social activity—are associated with longevity.
The study found that Facebook users who accept more friendships have a lower risk of mortality, but there is no relationship for those who initiate more friendships.
The “sad” detail they’re talking about is that “making new friend requests isn’t related to longevity.” Okay, that’s understandable. But then they go on to say, “Encouraging people to make new friends may not work…”
I have a problem with that. It’s a huge leap from the first point to the next.
The reason is: encouraging people to go and make friends DOES NOT EQUAL sending out a huge number of friend requests.
What’s good for your health isn’t about spending time on Facebook trying to make new friends. It’s about ACTUALLY making friends: meeting them, connecting with them, laughing, having fun, and sharing what you really think and feel.
In order to achieve that, you need some real strategies for each step: sending out friend requests IS NOT A STRATEGY for making friends.
If we go beyond this study, there are dozens of others who have proved that connecting with people *on a real-life level* does great things for your health and happiness.
My advice is do not go around making conclusions based on a study regarding virtual behavior. Friend requests are bad indicator of your actual social life.
This is why I always insist on techniques and principles for making friends that are based on REAL LIFE – only helped by social media – not defined by it.
Socialize and Make Friends with Workouts and Happy Hour Combined
Most fitness studios make it challenging to create lasting friendships during classes. Typically you show up, stretch, sweat and leave when it’s over. WellAndGood.com introduces us to two workout brands that defy established traditon but share one thing in common—members are part of sweaty societies in which the workout is a warm-up for happy hour.
As I always say, it’s easier to make friends in a group or community setting. If you were planning to start a workout routine, or if you’re maybe already physically active, why not try one of these groups to see if it’ll lead to some interesting encounters!
– Paul Sanders
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