Thanks to the advancement of technology and the massive importance of smartphones these days, it has become easier and easier to become friends over text with virtually anyone. For a lot of people, texting or chatting through various social media platforms is their main way of making friends with other people. If they can do it, so can you.
Similar to how you can become friends with others in person, becoming friends over text is also something you can easily learn, practice, and eventually, master. With the tips below, you will be able to be friends with anyone over text.
Let The Other Person Know Where You Got Their Contact Information
This only applies if you didn’t get the contact information from the other person directly. In a lot of cases, people begin texting with one another after meeting once at a party and the like. However, if you got their number from someone else, let it be known where you got their contact information from.
When given their number, you should also make sure that the other person doesn’t mind being texted. Make sure they’re the type of people who also enjoy making friends over text. A lot of people are like this and their friends know it. Make sure those are the people you’re texting, otherwise you’ll just be wasting your time.
Properly Introduce Yourself
Once you text someone, make sure you let them know who you are properly. Let them know your name, where you’re from, and why you texted them. Give them a clear picture of who you are from the get-go. Most people who frequently text and build friendships that way appreciates this approach as it is concise and it shows initiative.
You don’t have to spell out everything about you, you just need to mention the things that matter. Tell them your name, where you got the number from, why you’re texting, etc.
Reply At A Steady Pace
When already engaged in a text exchange with someone, make sure you respect their time by replying to them at a steady pace. Better yet, you should match the pace of the other person. If they’re replying instantly, you should do the same. If there are minutes of intervals between messages from their end, match their pace as well.
If the messages between the two of you are exchanged at a steady pace, then your conversations will feel more organic. It will also let the other person know that you’re interested in them enough to keep up the interaction.
Know Their Interests
Making friends over text isn’t much different from making friends face-to-face. The real difference is the fact that you’re doing your conversations digitally instead of physically. Having said that, use this platform to really get to know who they are. Know what their interests are and the things they find distasteful. Having these bits of information while you’re still texting will serve you and the other person well for when you’ll finally meet face-to-face.
On top of that, asking someone what their interests are will let them know you care enough to get to know them. Be curious and be sincere and the friendship should flourish naturally.
Find A Common Ground
Once you get to know the other person’s interests and dislikes, you can then begin to figure out your common grounds. If there are interests of theirs that align with yours, then good! Focus on those. You can talk about your shared interests and the conversations will become much smoother and natural.
Of all the things in the world people enjoy doing, there’s bound to be at least one common ground for the both of you. If not, then find something they’re interested in you feel like you’re going to enjoy too. Take the time to understand that interest and maybe you’ll enjoy it as well.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
In texting, it’s always better if you ask the other person open-ended questions instead of just asking them simple yes-or-no questions. That way, they’ll be able to answer your questions thoroughly and you’ll know more about them in a timelier manner.
Open-ended questions are ones that require specific answers. Questions such as “how did you come to work at this particular company” and such are examples of this. You can also expand upon their answers by using follow-up questions. Doing so shows interest and care and the other person will appreciate getting the chance to divulge their thoughts. They may also do the same for you, which will lengthen the conversation even longer.
Humor, as long as it’s done tastefully, is always a useful tool when becoming friends with anyone over text. Thankfully, making someone laugh via text is easier than doing so in person. At least you can construct your stories and jokes much better if its done via texts, whereas it’s much more precise when you do it in person.
Take advantage of this and use humor whenever it is appropriate. If you’re able to make them laugh over text, then you’ll have given them a good time, which will make being friends with them that much easier.
Don’t Be Too Formal
Since you’re texting to become friends with someone, there’s no need to be so formal in your approach. You can just be casual about this, be relaxed, and they’ll do the same. Of course, this isn’t to say you should misspell words or flake out on grammar, you should still adhere to certain text etiquettes without being too formal. This isn’t an email chain, after all.
Just be relaxed and speak as you would in person, using the proper spelling and grammar. Let them know you’re relaxed enough to text casually but also serious enough to follow etiquette.
Don’t Send Texts That Are Too Long
When texting with somebody, make sure your texts aren’t too long. If your story is long and intricate, try to summarize it as best as you can so it is short without losing its meaning and point. Better yet, save those stories for when you’re talking on the phone or when you’ll meet for the first time.
Not texting texts that are too long means you’re respecting their time. Reading long texts is very time-consuming and it may turn off the other person from keeping up the conversation.
Don’t Push Too Hard If They Aren’t Replying
If they aren’t replying to you anymore, don’t be too pushy. You may come off too strong and just end up driving them away. Instead, you can send one follow-up text or two to see if they’re still there as a way of showing interest. They may have just fallen asleep or are currently busy and will surely reply once they’re available. If they see just one or two follow-up messages, they’ll appreciate the concern.
However, if they see five to ten follow-up messages, that may come off too upfront. Avoid this and respect their space.
Answer Questions Thoroughly
Whenever you’re asked a question by the other person, make sure you answer them thoroughly and properly. If they’re curious enough about you to goad you with questions, show your appreciation by giving them the answer they want.
When texting somebody, make sure you show your sincerity simply by being nice, attentive, and communicative while texting. They’ll appreciate the company, albeit digitally, and I’m sure you will as well. Let them know you appreciate them just by paying attention or by employing a cheerful and happy approach when texting.
If you’re excited to receive their texts, let them know not by saying it but by replying optimistically and timely. Be sincere and appreciate the fact that you’re about to be friends with someone over text.
Similar to how you can expect return questions when asking open-ended questions as mentioned earlier, you should also do the same to the other person while texting them. Whenever they ask an interesting question that can be asked to anyone, return the questions to them to see what their opinion is.
In some cases, people ask questions in hopes of answering that question themselves. Give them that opportunity by returning the question.
Use Meaningful Conversation Starters
There’s nothing wrong with using greetings such as “Hey!” or “How have you been?” to start conversations via texts. However, you can take it up a notch by using meaningful conversation starters instead. You can initiate the texting that way and it will make the upcoming exchange much more meaningful and interesting.
For example, if you can comment on something you’ve previously talked about, for example, if they mentioned a movie or a TV show they enjoy that you haven’t seen yet, you can text them again after you’ve seen that so you can talk about it with them. This is just one example, but the idea is to spark up a conversation that’s already interesting from the get-go.
Use Fun Texting Games
There are a lot of texting games people use and do to pass the time while getting to know the other person. Texting games such as 21 Questions, Never Have I Ever, Riddles, Trivia, among others are engaging and highly entertaining.
Think of them as party games, only done through texting. That way, you’re enjoying each other’s time while learning about one another. If all else fails whenever you’re attempting to be friends with someone over text, you can always use fun texting games to liven things up.
Sharing stories is another thing that’s made easier via texts rather than in person, depending on your personality. If you find it difficult to tell a story in person, the power of texting should prove beneficial to you.
Telling stories through text will allow you to curate your story properly and make them as interesting as possible. The pressure of telling it concisely and precisely as quickly as you can that’s present in a face-to-face setting is essentially removed if you do it via texts. Of course, there are stories that are better told in person, so save them up for your eventual meeting.
Understand Their Preferences
Another way of saying this is to be as considerate as you can be whenever you’re texting another person. For example, if they prefer texting in a speedy manner, you can appeal to their preference by also texting in a speedy manner. If they prefer to text slow, then give them all the time they need.
This is also one way of determining whether or not you can befriend that person over text. Some people don’t find the idea of befriending someone via texting because they simply prefer to do it in person. If this is the case, wait for the final tip of this article, but for now, take things slowly and only text them from time to time, while letting it be known that you’re interested in being their friend.
End Every Interaction Properly
If you’ve been texting with someone for a while and you need to end the conversation for whatever reason, make sure you end the interaction properly. Don’t simply leave them hanging and just text them back later on, let them know you’re about to get off your phone to do something else.
For example, if you have to go to dinner, to work, or go to sleep, let them know and tell them you’ll just text them back when you can. This shows respect and kindness and the other person will highly appreciate it.
Sometimes, things that need to be said can’t be said via text. If a meeting isn’t possible yet, the next best thing is to just make a call. Giving them a call is always acceptable given certain situations, but always make sure they’re also comfortable receiving that call. Some people prefer texting over calling.
Arrange A Meeting
Finally, you can text someone for as long as possible, but it will never be the same until you meet and interact with each other in person. As soon as both of you get comfortable enough with each other, arrange a meeting that both of you can agree on. Find a place you both like, an activity you both enjoy, and a time you both are available.
Think of it as a culmination of everything you’ve been doing thus far. After days, or weeks, or even months of getting to know one another over text, you can finally finalize the friendship by finally meeting in person. If you both are comfortable enough with one another already, meeting each other in person should be blissful and satisfying.
You can be friends with anyone over text with patience and perseverance. Some people may not prefer building friendships over text, but you can certainly still use this mode of communication to make yourself known to them until your eventual meeting. Of course, nothing beats face-to-face interaction, but with the right approach, you can still do your social life a favor by befriending another person with the use of this fantastic technology. Good luck!