Today, I want to share with you a 4-point checklist to make sure your 2016 friendship and social life goals become a reality. Let’s focus on action and speed: how to make it happen, as soon as possible.
First, Let’s Start Right
Let’s provide you with clarity. It’s easier to hit a goal once you know what it is. Answer me these questions:
- How many friends do you want?
- Do you want friends who are in the same field as you, or interested in the same subjects? If so, what are they? (If you live in a small town, try not to be too picky.)
- How often do you want to meet these friends?
- What kinds of activities do you want to share with them?
By the way, if you’re okay with sharing with me your answers, please do so in this form: http://goo.gl/forms/lkld3KLenp
I’d love to know what you think.
Secondly, Make This Commitment
Commit to at least three sources which will help you find great people. Start with facebook groups, maybe a fan page which posts events; go to meetup, subscribe to a couple of groups, and take a look at eventbrite (and similar apps). Maybe there is a newsletter about events near you?
Look for sources of events and get-togethers, and subscribe to them. By making the commitment that you’ll be informed on what’s happening, socially, around you, you make it much more likely that you’ll be participate in those activities. That’s how you stack the odds with you, and make the social life you want, closer to reality.
Pro tip: if you find a great group/page on facebook, make sure to click “see first,” so you never miss any of their events.
Third, Let Your Calendar Help You
Go to your calendar now, create a weekly recurring event, and name it “let’s be social.” Put it on Tuesday, after work. I don’t mean “internet-social.” I mean get social, really, but maybe using the internet.
What you do, is, whenever that notifications pops-up from your calendar, get to your contact list, and start following up. If you’ve met people recently, reach out and say things like “Hi! It was nice to meet you that time. We should catch up some time soon.” They’ll love it that you took the time to write them.
Also, take a look at your favorite apps/groups/pages/websites which are about events, social groups, and get-togethers. If you like something that’s happening that week, mark it down. When you talk to people, suggest going there!
Fourth, Keep It Up
One of the biggest reasons why people let their social lives die off, is lack of repetition. They try stuff for a week or two and then give up. I know you’re probably very busy, and that’s why I’m suggesting that you use your calendar.
Ultimately, you need to keep at it. If you go out somewhere and don’t like the place – leave! Don’t beat yourself over it, if you don’t like something, or someone, just move on, and try another day.
If you keep that attitude, I don’t see what can stop you from having the social life you want. Repetition is your friend.
Go Further: Arm Yourself With The Best Techniques
In my eBook, Get The Friends You Want, I share with you everything you need to know to: get out of loneliness and shyness, master conversation and social skills, build friendships, and a social circle. I suggest that you arm yourself with all the techniques and principles which took me years to learn and accumulate. It can cut months or years of social frustration for you. Do it now.
Take good care,
– Paul Sanders