If you’re feeling that something wasn’t quite “right” with your past efforts to make friends and socialize, and the techniques you used brought very confusing results, I can help.
As hopeless and upset as you may be feeling right now, there IS a real and simple way to solve your social issues and attain that “I GOT THIS” feeling in yourself quickly. A way that involves no gimmicks or grandma’s advice on how to be polite, but one that puts you in a place where you can have the friends (and the fun) you always knew you deserved.
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If you like self-torture, then find and keep selfish friends around you. In fact, if you love wasting a ton of time, that you’ll eventually regret, if you’re looking for the biggest source of social demotivation, and remorse, then stick with selfish friends.
Sometimes, it’s like pouring love and emotional investment in a black hole and expecting it to get it back.
If you want to live a great social life, then stay away from these folks. The hardest thing about it is that they know how to hide themselves in nice and interesting personalities.
This newsletter is about to show you how to spot them, before you invest yourself in a friendship that will hurt and disappoint you. Here are the six signs you’re dealing with a take-all selfish friend…
Selfish Friend Sign #1 – They Think They Deserve Special Treatment
The selfish friend, the one you don’t wanna get involved with, thinks he or she is special. They think that they deserve to be treated in a special way. He or she asks for favors, big and small, even if you’re just starting to get to know them.
Selfish Friend Sign #2 – For Them, You’re A Detail
After you do them a favor, the selfish friend barely says thank you, and if they do, it doesn’t sound sincere. But, try and ask for a favor and see them brush it off and never follow through with it. He or she can give you an evasive answer like “ok, I’ll call you later about this,” but it never happens.
Sometimes, they just act like you never asked for anything.
Selfish Friend Sign #3 – Shady Plans
The selfish person can cancel a meeting with you at the last minute. They give you fake excuses and rarely say “I’m sorry”, because they think they’re too special to apologize. When you suggest that you meet with them, they carefully think of all the other choices they have, and if they have nothing “better” to do, they’ll meet you. They usually call when they’re bored and have no other or better plans.
Get this: the selfish person decides where he or she wants to go, then finds people to go with him. That’s fine but they suggest to many people, and it seems that it doesn’t matter to them who shows up, his or her contacts are pretty much all the same, to them. In other words, they hang out with you to avoid being alone, not because they like you.
Selfish Friend Sign #4 – You Never Meet Their Friends
The selfish person talks about lots of other friends but always comes alone, and never introduces you to any one of them. They give you the impression of knowing lots of people, but when you listen to the stories they tell, you find out that it’s all superficial.
They’re always hanging out with people they barely know. You rarely find them with close friends. But you always hear them talk about the relationships they have with powerful people, it never ends.
If you want to laugh a little, tell them “can you please introduce me to so and so? I would love to meet them.” They’ll give you the stupidest excuses why that can’t happen “now”, but maybe a “later.” It actually never happens, but it’s funny to see them try and evade your request.
Selfish Friend Sign #5 – To Them, You’re Boring, Everyone Is Boring
They never take the time to understand what’s special or interesting about you. To them, conversation is just a means of gaining more power and access. They sure look like they’re listening, but in reality, they’re just waiting for you to shut and up, so they can take control of the conversation, again.
For example, when you say stuff like “Oh! Hey, you know what I just read in this magazine… etc,” they says stuff like “Yeah, of course!”, or “I know that but, here’s what’s REALLY interesting…” With sentences like that, they just downplay anything you say as banal, and common knowledge.
And this is the fact even if you talk about a brand new science discovery. If you want to test them, tell them about a new scientific study, and give them the result in reverse. If they say “Yes, I know that…”, then you’re dealing with an imposter.
Selfish Friend Sign #6 – They Cover Their “Black Hole” Personality
The selfish person knows, that if they act like themselves right away, they would never make friends. Instead, they start by acting like a very polite cordial person. At first, they’re interested in getting to know you, and carefully listen to you. Then, he or she gradually starts to withdraw, and only shows up when they need something.
At first, they usually bring lots of conversation to the table, and always have something to say.
They do that to show an open minded, interesting, and interested personality. But you can sense that they’re not really interested in any of those subjects, they just use them as a cover for an empty take-everything-I-can personality. It’s like a black hole, you can’t expect to get love from a taking-person.
BONUS-TIP – The Most Dangerous Trick In Their Bag
The most dangerous trick in the selfish person’s bag is the confusion they try to create in you mind. They try to get you to doubt your value, as a person. They want you to think “Maybe I’m not cool enough. Maybe that’s why they don’t want to spend any time with me. Maybe I need to try harder.”
This is a pseudo-rejection, that the selfish person gives you in small doses. They want you to be in a no-man’s land: “Do they think I’m not cool enough, or are they always like this busy and indifferent?” My advice to you is to never fall for this.
As you start to detect the selfish signs, move on, and find a more giving-person. A person who is willing to invest some of their time to make new friends. Cut the suckers out. They do more harm than good.
Meet The Right Friends For You
If you want to learn how to meet great people, make conversation, and build friendships with them, I recommend you download my eBook, “Get The Friends You Want.”
In it, I’ll show you the best techniques and strategies for meeting and making friends. I’ll also share with you new tips for having amazing conversations, that instantly make people want to get to know you. Get it here…
Get The Friends You Want – Risk Free Trial
See you there.
– Paul Sanders
Author, Get The Friends You Want