Feeling lonely is one of the worst emotional situations we know of. After you take care of your physical needs (food, shelter and security), your need for friendship can only grow bigger.
Being alone, not having someone to share your worries and hopes with, makes you feel a certain kind of emptiness. It’s actually natural for your body to make you feel that way. Our physiology is designed to push us to go and socialize, and stay CLOSE to people.
In this Social Skills Newsletter, I’m going to share with you how to deal with loneliness, and start meeting the kinds of friends you need.
If you want a fast track course to stop loneliness as soon as possible, then grab a copy of the “Get The Friends You Want” eBook, here:
Why Feeling Lonely Can Get Worse With Time…
Maybe you noticed that when you are lonely, you start to feel cynical and suspicious towards people. That’s normal because, deep down in our nature, loneliness is associated with rejection and danger. These emotions are tied with loneliness.
Even if it’s YOU who decide you want to be left alone, you still feel that it’s society that’s rejecting you.
That mental gap between you and other people grows bigger if you don’t do something to stop to it.
Loneliness gets worse in other ways…
- You stop relating to normal people because you spend a lot of time on your own. Which makes it even harder to start making friends.
- You start losing your social skills. Social intelligence is like any other kind of intelligence… if you don’t use it, you lose it.
- You become irritable: when you’re lonely, problems and setbacks start to seem bigger to you.
- You lose some of your motivation: after long periods of hard-work, a bit of socializing can give you all the energy you need. The lack of it can make your goals matter less.
The thing is, loneliness drains your energy, and make your goals and aspirations seem much harder to attain.
The sooner you deal with it, the better.
What Kind Of Friends Make Loneliness Go Away?
As you might know, not everyone can be the friend you could openly share your life with. In fact, some people can make you feel even more “alone”… we call them “the close-minded”.
You don’t wanna spend your time with those!
You need friends who will understand you. The ones who will actually LIKE the unique things about you, and accept your individuality.
These are the kind of friends with whom you can share your life and your dreams. You could go out with them, without ever worrying about being judged or being seen as “weird”.
That’s when you start to feel really happy that you have the right people with whom you can go out, have nice dinners, parties, go on trips and adventures, celebrate your birthdays and have the fun of your life.
How To Start Meeting Friends
The rule of thumb is that friendship needs to be ABOUT something. This thing can be a passion, an activity, a hobby, a shared opinion, etc.
What you need to do, is get to the places where you have the highest chances of meeting people who WANT friends, too. These places are Meetup groups, charity groups or expats’ events. You can also join a Toastmasters group if you also want to learn public speaking.
Why it works…
When you join a group, it forces you to go there each week or each month. It’s hard to forget about it and get distracted.
In these places, you can introduce yourself to anyone you bump into. They’re designed for meeting new friends. Try and the find as many commonalities as possible between you and the people you’d like to hang out with later. That way, it’s only but natural to keep in touch.
If you just do just that, you’re way ahead of the curve. You’ve taken the first step out of loneliness, and into a life full of the friends and the fun you absolutely need.
If you’re eager to learn more techniques for meeting people, having great conversations, staying in touch, and making friends, then I recommend that you get a trial copy of my “Get The Friends You Want” eBook.
Learn how social life really works and put a stop to those old worries that have kept you afraid of people. Instead of imagining that others are thinking horrible things about you, I’ll show you how to feel safe around people. You’ll also learn to avoid the flawed attitude that ruins any chance of having friends in your life. Download your copy here:
– Paul Sanders
Author, Get The Friends You Want