Did you know…the BEST WAY to create friendships is NOT about being “always on” or always having “topics to talk about”?
The fact is, you can learn just a few conversational techniques, and you won’t even have to THINK about holding conversations, it will just happen on its own.
Ready to discover the social skills secrets for total success in your social life? Then go here now:
Now, let’s talk about how you can make friends in a new city…
Before you move to a new city, it feels like it’s going to be a new start and an opportunity to make new friends. But once you settle in, you start wondering how to make it happen.
A few months go by and you start to feel depressed to see friends and couples laughing and having a good time on a Friday night.
But Why? Why is it hard to make friends in a new city?
This question is important even if you’re not living in a new city. And that’s because it uncovers one of the weirdest things about being an adult in the 21st century. It’s the fact that, as adults, we don’t take the time to learn how to make friends.
We learn about dating, relationships, health, money, and many other life skills. But we act as if the skill of making friends is something you should be born with.
Revealing The Hidden Challenge
Not being able to make friends in a new city is just a surface-level challenge. But it hides a bigger problem…
Not knowing how to make friends altogether, is the real challenge.
Moving to a new city puts you “on the spot” and you feel stuck. You don’t know where to go, what to do, and what specific steps to take to meet new people and make friends.
Sure, you’ve heard the usual advice of “join a dance class”, but we all know how much motivation and willpower that takes. And it sure isn’t gonna solve the problem of not having learned the skill of making friends.
In the next section of this newsletter, I want to tell you about the steps to take to get yourself from loneliness to having a nice circle of friends.
Making Friends – Specific Steps and Techniques
As we said before, there are specific steps you can take to go from a place where you have no friends, feel lonely, rejected, and literally ostracized from society (I know, I’ve been there), to a situation you want: A situation where you have people to go out with, friends who understand and support you, friends to celebrate holidays, and have great weekends with.
These steps are as follows:
- Meeting New People
- Having Great Conversations
- Keeping In Touch and Creating a Friendship
- Forming a Solid Group of Friends
These are perfectly learnable skills. If you learn them, you would never have a problem making friends again, in your current city, or a new one.
For meeting new people, I want to share with you what I call the “Join The Team” technique. It works so well that I like to joke around and say that it’s a “diplomat-level” technique. We all know how diplomats can make friends with anyone in the world, no matter how powerful they are.
Meeting Friends: The “JOIN-THE-TEAM” Technique
Everybody tells you that if you want to meet new friends, you need to join a club of some kind. But that takes lots of motivation and dedication. And if you’re a little shy or introverted, it can be very intimidating to go do that.
But there is a way to meet new friends without much work.
What you can do is find a club which holds regular get-togethers, show up once or twice, and seek to join the organizing team. Just go to the guys who run the events and tell them that you’re available if they need some help.
Tell them specifically: “Hey guys, I really like these events, and I’m starting to think that I could maybe help you out. I have a little extra time, and I would love to contribute in organizing these events.”
You can find such clubs all over the place: meetup.com , internations.org, couchsurfing.org, online forums that hold regular meetups, etc.
Most teams who manage these groups love it when new people offer to help.
This works so well because it forces you to show up to the events. If you’re not a member of the organizing team, it’s easy to procrastinate and stay home. But when you commit to helping the team, you just go, you don’t even think about it.
It also works well because everyone becomes grateful for your help. You don’t need to be extroverted or popular to help, anyone can do it. The team and the members will naturally come talk to you and meet you. Which makes things even easier.
Now, you might be thinking “Hey, wait a minute. I’m busy as it is. I don’t have time for extra work!”. If that’s the case, then you can relax. That’s what I thought at first. As it turns out, these teams are already established, which means they already share all the tasks between them, and there is usually not too much left to do.
I don’t think it can get easier than this!
Speed Up Your Social Life
If you want to learn more techniques for quickly building your social life, then I recommend that you get yourself a copy of my eBook, “Get The Friends You Want.”
In it, I’ll show you my best techniques and strategies for meeting people, holding interesting conversations, keeping in touch, making friends, and building a social circle.
Learn more here:
See you there.
– Paul Sanders
Author, Get The Friends You Want