If you’re shy, or socially inhibited, you may find yourself often wondering what other people think of you. You may even find yourself imagining what nasty things socially connected people are saying about you.
Actually, you have no way of really knowing what these people think of you. Unless you hang out with them and listen to what they say about lonely and shy people.
Well, I spend a lot of time with all kinds of people. Including the really popular ones. And, in this newsletter, I want to share with you what they think of shy and lonely people.
By the way, have you started your Risk Free Trial of my eBook? If not, you may want to start today. This will set you on the right track for having the friends you want, and overcoming many of any ugly and hurtful social problems you suffered from.
You can get it here:
Okay, let’s get to it,
Shocking Truth #1 – No One Cares
Before you read further, I must warn you, the things you’re about to learn in this newsletter may shock you. You may think it’s exactly the opposite of how reality is. But, if you keep an open mind, you’ll learn some valuable tips that took me YEARS to realize.
So, this one is hard to swallow.
No one cares whether you get your social life together or not. They’re too busy thinking about themselves and THEIR social life.
Did you think people spend a great deal of time criticizing and judging you behind your back? Did this kind of thinking kept you hiding from people?
Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s extremely rare to find someone who isn’t too caught up in their own world… that they barely notice others.
If you’re a loner, and you make sure that you’re seen as rarely as possible… then you are literally ERASED from people’s memories. They can barely remember you, let alone, talk about you or criticize you.
It’s not easy for our EGOs to realize that…
I felt really bad once I realized how much time I wasted worrying about what other thought of me.
But wait… this is actually GOOD NEWS. It means that if you used to be scared of socializing and making friends, you don’t have to anymore! No one cares, anyway.
Whether you succeed at it or not, no one will notice the difference.
Shocking Truth #2 – People Can Only See Their Perception Of You,… Not You
There is a big difference between how good of a person you are… and how people see you.
They only judge you, according to what they know about life, and the experiences they had.
For example, an old man would think of you as “nice and educated,” a superficial life-of-the-party person may think of you as “boring”, and a decent cool person would see of you as just “normal.”
Well, no one is right; no one is wrong. And for the record, it doesn’t matter.
We are 7 billion people on this planet, everyone will see you differently. This is one new reason NOT to care how people would judge you. It’s just THEIR way of seeing things.
If a group of people doesn’t like how you live your life, screw it. There are people who would love to spend time with you, and you probably don’t even notice them.
You wanna know why? It’s because they’re not the most popular people around. We often make the mistake of ONLY noticing the most popular kids on the block and how THEY are not interested in spending time with us.
Forget those, find people you’ll be happy with.
Shocking Truth #3 – Social Mistakes Are Much More Tolerated Than Shy People Think
Social mistakes and faux-pas are a hundred times more tolerated than you think. If you don’t have a lot of social experience and you’ve been hiding a lot, you’re probably making a big deal out of it in your head.
For me, I used to think that if I make a socially awkward mistake, everyone will turn to look at me and start whispering to each other about how much of a loser I was. Now I realize that it was just a fantasy I was playing in my head.
I was scaring myself over stuff that NEVER happened.
In fact, most people don’t even notice. They just ignore any socially awkward thing you do.
I’ve been in hundreds if not thousands of different social situations. What I noticed is that people don’t pick on others who make social faux-pas. They only tease those who are very arrogant and have that “I am perfect” attitude.
As long as you’re somewhat humble with people, they will never care what social mistakes you make.
If you stay humble, you can get rid of your shyness easily. People like to hang out with humble people who can just socialize with them. That’s how you can make progress without getting rejected, and or judged.
This progressive approach is one of the BEST ways to overcome shyness and loneliness, and start having the fun social life you want. It works very smoothly.
In my eBook “Get The Friends You Want”, I’ll tell you how this progressive approach works so you know how to get from being an isolated loner to being welcomed in the lives of new friends.
Learn how the social life really works and put a stop to those old worries that have kept you afraid of people.
Instead of imagining that others are thinking horrible things about you, I’ll show you how to feel safe around them. You’ll also learn to avoid the flawed attitude that ruins any chance of having friends in your life (this is on page 30). Download your copy here:
Have a great time, until next time,
– Paul Sanders
Author, Get The Friends You Want