Friend, let me ask you a few questions.
Do you sometimes wonder how you can “start over” your social life, and build or join a great new circle of friends?
Have you ever moved to a new city where you had zero friends and had to start from scratch?
How does everyone manage to have a nice group of friends they go out with, while you could be struggling to find even one interesting friend?
In this Social Skills newsletter, I explain why following typical friendship advice can lead you to nothing but more loneliness,… and what to do instead.
By the way, in my eBook “Get the Friends You Want”, there is a whole chapter about building your social circle. If you learn how to build a social circle, you guarantee that you have the skills necessary to make friends whenever you want (and avoid being alone and isolated).
Why Typical Friendship Advice Prevents You From Having the Group of Friends You Want
Let me explain.
Many people think that if they get to know dozens or hundreds of people, of all kinds, from all walks of life, they’ll get a rich social life. They think that they’ll end up surrounded by friends.
Here is why it doesn’t work.
First… concentrating on too many people at once is hard and takes too much time.
Secondly… Making friends with people who won’t get along will KEEP YOU from being able to hang out with more than one person at once. If your potential friends can’t get along, then you don’t have a group.
And Finally, having friends who don’t know each other is like having none. If they don’t know you in the context of a group of friends, they won’t think of you when it’s time to go out and have fun.
You become just another contact, an acquaintance, rather than a friend they can meet and have a good time with.
The Most Important Factor in Building a Social Circle
The most important thing you can ever do for your social life is this: introduce people to each other to create a group.
You might be thinking “But, I don’t know anyone interesting right now!”… that’s fine. What I’m about to share with you will make people stay in your life when you meet them. That way, you’ll never have to be alone again.
If you introduce just two people to each other and they get along…
BAM! You become a GROUP OF THREE!
Each one will think of YOU whenever they want to go out. Because they know… that the fun is almost guaranteed, because you’re a group now. And groups are almost always more fun.
If you want to take it to the next level, and make them stick even more, add a fourth person… add members of the opposite sex… maybe add a couple.
This makes everyone STICK to the group.
Even better, if they get along, you DON’T HAVE TO WORK AT IT ANYMORE… they’ll start to call you, make plans, and just assume that everyone should come and hang out.
Even BETTER… they’ll bring more people to the group! Who wouldn’t wanna join an exciting new group of friends?
How to make sure that THIS WILL WORK FOR YOU?
There are two things that you absolutely need to pay attention to: these people have to have the same VALUES… and they have to GET ALONG.
It’s like a recipe. And it takes practice.
Of course, the best place to start is to learn from my mistakes.
It took me years of trial and error to really know how to make new friends and go on to build a social circle. There is a ton of subtle elements to keep in mind to build the social circle you want.
Every time I found something that DID work, I took the idea, refined it, and wrote it down… then worked on it some more.
I collected and organized what I learned into my eBook, “Get The Friends You Want”.
It contains literally HUNDREDS of great ideas for improving your social life and making friends… and it’s a great place to start learning to build a social circle of friends. You never have to be alone ever again, if you know what works.
Go check out the details here:
I’ll talk to you again, soon
– Paul Sanders
Author, Get The Friends You Want