If you’re an introvert, your instincts don’t push you to be more social, they instead push you to do your own thing by yourself. At the same time, you still crave face-to-face social interactions and would love to spend time in the company of good friends.
Right now, you could be making your life, as social as you want it to be, by learning my methodology for overcoming loneliness and making friends. The thing is that I’m an introvert, and my methodology works for introverts and extroverts alike.
Introverts love to be social, but not too much, not too little, just right. If that’s what you want, then read on to discover 3 of my best strategies that will get you ready to start living a great social life.
How To Be More Social By Understanding Friendship Dynamics
To optimize your time, as you’re making new friends, I’d like to introduce you to a friendship dynamic that will help you make sense of why some people just click and become friends, while other don’t.
Before you start looking for new friends, get clear on whether you want close or casual friends. Once you know that, you have to understand that other people may or may not have the time and energy required to maintain a close and meaningful friendship.
Some people have a small circle of close friends and a wider circle of casual friends, some only have casual friends, and others only have close friends. When you meet new people, expect them to act according to their current friendship life: if they have enough close friends already, then they’ll only be open to casual friendships.
Set Weekly and Monthly Social Rituals
As we said at the start, your instincts won’t push you to socialize unless you’re very lonely. That’s why you need to put some social time in your regular schedule. You need a reminder to socialize.
I suggest that you start by setting a weekly “recurring event” in your calendar which will remind you to take one hour of your time and follow up, email, text, and call people you want to stay in touch with, or those you want to meet up with soon.
This makes sure that you don’t neglect people and cause them to forget about you.
With that, you can subscribe to one or two interest groups which hold monthly meetings, and commit to always showing up for the events. You can also take it to the next level by joining the organizing team, and become strongly involved. This will make sure that every month, you get to meet new people.
These kinds of regular commitments will bring you peace of mind because you realize that, for the rest of the time, you can enjoy your solitary activities without feeling guilty about it. They also get you the friends you want in an almost automatic way, as long as you stick to them.
Focus On Groups Of Friends, Not Just Individual Friends
Another trick you can use to be more social, is to take advantage of the group-effect. When you only have individual friends, you still have to do all the work of following up, making plans, and inviting people. But when you make friends, introduce them to each other and form groups of friends, it’s a different story.
Within a group of friends, everyone makes plans, not just you. Everyone also talks and texts everyone, so you don’t have to contact everybody to make something happen. The friends in that group will automatically contact you to do something social during weekends for example… You won’t be the one doing all the work.
To benefit from the group-effect, make sure you introduce your new friends to each other and form a group.
Reach Your Socializing Sweet-Spot
If you want to learn more techniques for balancing me-time and socializing-time, then I recommend that you download your copy of my ‘Get The Friends You Want’ eBook.
In it, I will show you the best techniques and strategies for meeting and making friends, without too much effort. I’ll also share with you new tips for having amazing conversations, that instantly make people want to get to know you.
Get it here: eBook Download
See you there.
– Paul Sanders
Author, Get The Friends You Want