If you currently feel like you’re losing your social skills, you may just be not alone in this. Given the long span of time people had to isolate themselves and stay at home during the fateful year of 2020, it comes as no surprise that a lot of people have had the sense of losing their social skills.
Thankfully, though, losing implies prior ownership. If you’ve built up your social skills before, you can do so again. Here are 16 things to remind you how you can build yourself back up after losing your social skills.
Understand Why You Lost Your Social Skills
Losing one’s social skills happens differently for different people. For some, their social skills gradually disappear due to being isolated for far too long. For some, unfortunately, it’s because of certain underlying mental health problems. Whatever the case is for you, if you want to rebuild your social skills, you will need to learn why or how you lost it in the first place.
Understanding why and how you lost your social skills will allow you to work yourself up directly from the root of the problem. If it’s due to being isolated for too long, then you’ll know to slowly but surely re-enter your social life. If it’s another, you can always seek professional help instead.
Don’t Be Too Hard On Yourself
Throughout this whole ordeal, it is also vital that you remain cool and not be too hard on yourself. Losing your social skill is one thing, and losing your self-respect and self-love is another.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. This thing can happen to anyone, and now that it happened to you, what you should do now is to move on and work on solving the problem. There’s no need to bash your head on the wall for it. For you to move on from this situation, you’ll need total control of yourself mentally and you won’t be able to do that if you keep being too hard on yourself.
Hang-out With Your Friends More Frequently
There is a very high chance the reason why you’re losing your social skills is that you haven’t interacted with your friends in a long time. The remedy for this is very simple: go hang out with your friends.
If you’ve isolated yourself for a while now, it’s time that you leave your space for a few hours and go spend time with your friends. Catch up with them, have a laugh with them, just as you always have. In some cases, this will not instantly make you regain all the social skills and abilities you had before, but it most definitely is a good start.
Figure Out The Difference
It can also be very helpful for you to take a step back and assess the difference between your social skills then and your social skills now. Find out what changed. See which things make you uncomfortable now. Which skills did you use to be so good at but are somewhat inept now?
If you can figure out what changed, then you’ll know exactly what to work on. For example, if you can’t carry out conversations as you did before, perhaps it’s just because you haven’t had a long and meaningful conversation with another person in a while. Whatever it is, figure it out so you can immediately focus on fixing it.
Don’t Be Afraid To Socialize Again
If you know you’re losing your social skills and you believe you can’t function as well as you used to in a social setting, don’t falter and avoid socializing altogether. If you want to do something about losing your social skills, the best thing you should be doing is to socialize again.
Avoiding socializing will just spell out tragedy for you. If you allow this fear to get the best of you, you will never be able to improve your social skills again to get back to the way things were for you. Go out there and don’t be afraid of socializing again. If it’s tough now, it’ll get easier and easier the more you do it. You should know already, you used to be socially adept!
Lean To The People Closest To You
If talking to a large group of people or a stranger sounds too difficult for you as of now, then there’s no need to force yourself yet. If you have a number of friends you consider closest to you, then begin with them. Talk to them. Better yet, talk to them about your social problems. They may be able to help you.
If you force yourself to do something you just find too difficult for now, you may end up hating this whole process. Lean to the people closest to you to make this whole situation easier. Whether it be a loving partner, a best friend, or a sibling, never hesitate to seek help. You shouldn’t do this alone.
Make Use of Social Media
Socializing isn’t just done in person anymore! Thanks to the ever-growing popularity and general importance of social media, more people are turning to the online world to grow their social circle, improve their social skills, and make friends. You can do the same!
Take advantage of social media and do your socializing there; if you feel you’re not ready to socialize in person just yet. Join social groups to discuss things you’re interested in. Meet new people. Get in touch with people you used to know but haven’t interacted with in a long time. A lot of people tend to villainize the online world, but you use it well, it can do great things for you! Things such as interacting with new people, making friends, and building up your social skills.
Practice Listening
As you know, one of the most important traits a social person should have is being a good listener. This isn’t just talking about the ability to hear what the other person is saying, but also to recognize what the other person is feeling and what they really need from an interaction.
Proper listening means paying attention to the person’s words, how they’re saying the things they’re saying, and how their body is moving as they’re talking to you. A person can say one thing but mean the other. If you want to regain your social skills, working on your listening skills is one of the best ways to go about it.
Be the Initiator
Don’t wait for others to invite you. Don’t wait for parties to happen just for you to have the chance to socialize with others. Be the initiator. Invite friends and colleagues to hang out with you at a local pub, restaurant, or even invite them back to your place.
Host a party if that’s something you’re comfortable doing. One very major upside to being the initiator is that you’re able to control where you’re going to be socializing. If you want to host a party at your place, then you’ll feel comfortable knowing you’re in your territory as you’re interacting with other people.
Read
Reading is a very important tool in building up your social skills. Consider reading as an exercise for your brain. The more stimulated your brain is, the faster you’ll be able to react and adapt to whichever social situation.
You can also read about current events. Not only will you remain informed, which is good in and of itself, you’ll also be able to use them to make conversation with other people. Current events are always surefire topics of discussion given their relevance. Dedicate a few hours of your day solely to reading. You’ll thank yourself for it down the line.
Make Others Feel Good
If you can’t make yourself feel good for now, make others feel good instead. You inwards and ask yourself what a compliment can do for you. Look back on those times when you were really down and your friends were there to comfort you. Those feel good, don’t they? Now, do those for others and let them feel what you felt when those things happened to you.
Making others feel good will also make them be drawn towards you. By simply being good to other people, you are already improving your social skills unknowingly. Just know that just because you’re doing this to improve your social skills, that doesn’t mean your good deeds should be forced and insincere. Know the value of kindness and warmth and provide that to other people. Regaining your social skills will come naturally.
Dress Up
This is one thing you can do to trick your brain into feeling amazing. As they say, when you look good, you feel good. In the social world, if you feel good, you’re able to interact with other people much better. With that in mind, learn how to dress up well. Dress to impress and express whenever you’re out and about. You will notice a drastic improvement in your self-confidence and you’ll surely regain your lost social skills.
If fashion is not your strong suit, don’t worry! Ask help from a friend or a professional to get you going. You’ll eventually find a decent style that will suit your taste.
Don’t Rush The Process
As you’re rebuilding yourself and finding your lost social skills, understand that this process can take a long time to occur. Don’t get frustrated if you don’t feel the improvement after one of two nights of socializing. Sometimes it’ll take way more than that. Be patient and never falter. Just keep on doing what you’re doing and eventually, you’ll be at the place you were once was when you were socially adept.
Give yourself time and space. If you feel the need to rest, then do so. Don’t be afraid to relax and say “no” to invitations every once in a while. You also need to respect and listen to your own needs, after all. The more at peace your mind is and the more comfortable you are throughout all of this, the easier the process will be.
Value Stories
Stories are incredibly important. In a social setting, stories are like a currency you should value and treasure. This goes for your own stories and those of others. Having said this, remember the stories that are the most memorable and meaningful to you. Share them with others. Sharing stories is a really good way of opening yourself up to other people, which is key to improving your social skills.
Whenever someone else is telling their own stories, make sure you make them feel heard by listening to them intently. Not only should you listen but you should also remember them so that you can reference these stories the next time you meet. It’s a good way of letting that person know you actually pay attention to them and that you care enough to remember their stories.
If The Problem is Anxiety, Seek Professional Help
If the reason for you losing your social skills is because of intense social and personal anxiety, then please, don’t be afraid and ashamed of seeking professional help. There are people who have studied and are trained for dealing with that situation. You should do yourself a favor by actually turning to them for help.
Anxiety is a very serious issue a lot of people tend to brush off. Don’t do the same. Treat this problem seriously and seek professional help.
Building Up Your Social Skills Again
Starting over after losing your social skills is a task that is easier said than done. If you’re someone who’s not naturally adept at socializing and had to learn it in the past, only for you to lose everything you’ve learned now for whichever reason, the frustration brought upon by this fact can be intense.
This isn’t something you should be too worried about, though. If you’ve learned to be socially adept before, you can do so again. Thankfully, since you already have experience in this arena, the process may come easier for you this time around.
However, if it does prove to be too difficult, then check out the other articles on this site. Read on how to improve your social skills, how to build your self-esteem, and various conversation techniques. Building yourself up after losing your social skills will probably take time, but at least you’ll have the proper resources so you can do it correctly.