Boring friends make you want to stay at home and do some activity by yourself. It can be hard to confront them about it without offending them. Or maybe you’re not thinking about confronting them because you want to give them a chance. Look, you can be boring to other people too. It depends on how you define ‘boring’. But knowing the common signs of a boring person can help you come up with ways to deal with them.
Signs of Boring Friends
Cynical and Negative
Life can be hard for everyone. But there’s always something to enjoy about it. When doing something fun with friends, and one of them suddenly goes on to find something to complain about, don’t you find them boring? Negativity bores the hell out of people. It means they don’t know how to have fun at all. They fail to find humor even in the most difficult times, it’s a bad company because laughter can help you relieve a bit of that stress you’re feeling. No one wants to be around a negative person.
A Mary Sue or Gary Stu
Do you know a friend who’s polite and proper all the time? It’s commendable because it can be a hard thing to do. But they can be boring because they seem to always be playing safe. Often those who are not too confident in socializing trying to hide it behind being proper. They’re also not fun to be with during parties when things can get wild and fun. You can bet they’re the ones to stop the fun and remind the people of the rules.
Quiet or Rambler
There’s always that friend who seems to be uninterested in any conversation topic. Or the one who always ends up dominating the conversation. Both are exhausting to talk with because either they speak too little or too long, which drains your energy and motivation to socialize even more. Maybe they’re socially awkward people. They usually have low self-confidence that stops them from having a meaningful conversation with you. Or maybe they have social anxiety, which means they need a therapist and support to be able to do something about it.
Predictable
These are friends who always find an excuse to not attend gatherings. Or they don’t have much going on with their life that they end up talking about the conversation topic over and over again. These people have most likely lost interest in their passion and proceed to just about doing the same routine every day for as long as they want. You may already know their patterns and can predict whatever they’re about to do without fail. Repetition is boring.
A Yes-man / yes-woman
The kind of friend who is indecisive or a people-pleaser. They will agree to everything that you say. From the conversation topics down to the meals, you’re going to get. Not only will they approve of everything that you do, but they’ll also most likely copy you too. They can’t seem to come up with their own ideas, and they prefer to play it safe with you by going along. Maybe by doing so, you’ll come to like them a lot. Needless to say, they’re being dishonest with you.
How To Deal With Boring Friends
Look Within
Before you look into others, it’s better to start with yourself. Have you been exploring the hobbies you’ve always wanted to do? Are you striving to grow better mentally and professionally? Oftentimes, your friends are a reflection of you. If you find them all boring, maybe you are boring too! Well, if you are, here are some tips:
- Avoid rambling. Don’t share your life story in one sitting, no one else can participate in the conversation that way.
- Find your passion and make time for it, so you have something new to talk about with your friends.
- Be sure to give out positive body language when socializing with other people.
Focus on their positives
When thinking about your boring friends, you may end up getting frustrated with them. You start to focus on their flaws now and then until that’s all that you think of them. It’s important to remember why you become friends with them in the first place. Remember the fun moments you’ve shared with them. It helps to focus on their positives and what you can actually learn from them. Sure, they can ruin a great party by being the party-pooper, maybe it’s because they care. So find something interesting about them.
Listen to them
Listening to your boring friends can be a pain. You can’t help but think of an escape plan in your mind while they go on rambling about something you can barely understand anyway. Stop your planning for a moment. Push yourself to listen to their monologue, something that was once a conversation. Show them that you’re giving them your full attention because maybe they’re having a hard time, and they need someone to listen. Or for the sake that you don’t miss out on what you actually need to hear from them.
Focus on shared experiences and interests
Make conversations with them much more enjoyable by encouraging topics that you’re both interested in. This way you won’t have to worry about zoning out because it’s something that you actually want to hear. Ask them about something they’re well-versed with that you happen to know less about. With their tendency to dominate the conversation, you can make it a learning experience. They will not omit details that you anyway need to know. Think of it as you getting a free course from your friends, and as an opportunity to get closer with them.
Interrupt gently to share your viewpoints and observations
Sometimes it’s hard to keep a conversation with your boring friends as they ramble to no end. It’s better that you find an opening yourself to insert your viewpoints and observation. But do it gently. Wait for the perfect time to do it, so they will not be offended by it. You have to, at least, try to participate in the conversation to make it less awkward for them, especially when you’re both in a gathering where the other people may notice.
Ask more interesting questions
During your conversation with them, try to come up with interesting questions to make socializing with them less boring and more enjoyable. Asking open-ended questions allow you to gain insights into their interests and what drives them. It gives you an idea of the next conversation topics you can bring up that’s also interesting for you. Asking a question is a great way to get involved with what’s going in their minds and to drive the conversation away from snoozeville.
Be persistent
People can change themselves once they’re made aware of what they need to improve on. But it doesn’t happen overnight. It’s best to stick with them as they go about changing their boring traits. This way, you’re showing them support and that you’re a good friend to have. They’ll be encouraged to become a better person. You’re not perfect yourself and there might be things you need to work on as well. They will show you support as much as you did for them. After all, that’s what friends are for.
Move on from boring friends
Sometimes the best way to deal with boring friends is to move on when all is said and done. You’ve already given them your best and stuck with them for as long you could. Remember that you can’t change people. They can only change themselves, only if they’re willing to. Don’t feel guilty about starting a new chapter of your life without them. It’s important to be friends with people who make you feel good, and are considerate enough to change themselves for the better.
Socializing with your boring friends doesn’t always have to be a pain. Now that you can point which of them is boring, you can start dealing with them as gently as you can. Remembering and applying these tips will help you become a better person and make your social life much more manageable, especially during frustrating situations.